more than we deserve

I treasure the memories and experiences that I was able to have on my mission. I feel like I was able to see God in the details of my life every minute, hour, day. I felt His infinite love, shown in the little blessings that He granted to me and those around me, based on our faith.

I remember one family in particular that was struggling financially. This little family consisted of a young couple and their five year old daughter, and they were working to be sealed in the temple. One HUGE obstacle that they faced was the unemployment of the father. He quit his job as he was returning to the church because his hours made him work on Sunday and didn't allow him to attend Sacrament Meeting. He had done this on the premise that he would be greatly blessed for his sacrifice, but after a year of waiting for a job, desperation was overtaking the faith that he had once had.

I was in awe and heartbroken as I talked to the father of this family. I marveled at his incredible faith and endurance and wondered how I would feel after a year of relying on another person's income to support my family. He confided that although he quit his job with faith that things would work out in the end, he was beginning to feel abandoned by Heavenly Father.

An incredible scripture in the Bible promises that "Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him." This man was having such a hard time opening his eyes to see the blessings that Heavenly Father had in store for him. Desperately, my companion and I tried to open his eyes. After a quick lesson on faith, we came up with an eye-opening plan of action. We would fast with this family for one day, the whole time praying that they would be able to find work ... and then see what blessings the Lord had already prepared for this faithful family.

The day of the fast was one of the hottest days of the year. When anticipating what the effect of climbing up hills in that heat would be like after a day without food or water, I thought that my sweet companion and I were going to die. However, we completed our fast. With faith, we prayed for a miracle.

A day or two later, our phone rang. The father found a job.

Some people might chalk that occurrence up to coincidence. However, I truly believe that Heavenly Father had a part in ensuring that our faith and the faith of this little family didn't go unnoticed. He was in every detail of their lives. Because I was able to plainly see that, I was also able to learn that Heavenly Father is also VERY personally aware of every single one of us.

For all of my life, I have tried really hard to do what Heavenly Father has wanted me to do. I feel like that is really what it means to LOVE Him. He asks me to seek His will and obey. In return, He promises to guide me and those blessings that my natural eyes cannot see right now. I have made so many seemingly wacky decisions in my life based on promptings that I have felt (i.e. fasting on the hottest day of the year ... or homeschooling my junior year of high school) that my dad once remarked (jokingly) that my God is a God that doesn't make sense.

Although my decisions have sometimes not made a lot of sense, I have found so much pleasure and comfort as I have moved forward in my life relying on Heavenly Father's perfect wisdom. This daily struggle that I go through has helped reinforce the idea to me that Heavenly Father is perfectly aware of my needs. He is intimately involved in my life. He has protected me from the evil influences in the world by surrounding me for as long as I can remember with wonderful friends, both inside and outside of the church. He gave me the best family I could ever hope to have. He has granted me my wildest dreams.

Sometimes, I am blind to the blessings that the Lord has perfectly placed in my life. Getting distracted is pretty easy in today's world. However, every time I take a moment to open my eyes to the wonderful blessings that surround me, I am filled with awe. The little glimpses that I get of eternity and the happiness that I feel when that happens makes me think that we have a whole lot to look forward to after this life ... if only we will love Heavenly Father enough in the meantime to trust that He will help make everything right in the end.

same place, different me

Before I get to the meat of my post, can I just say that I have come to LOVE running? It has become a necessary part of my life. This winter semester, I have been brutally forced to run indoors on the treadmill because of the consecutive days of below freezing weather ... but things have been turning around lately.

The beautiful, 55 degree weather of Rexburg allowed me to run outside today.

I usually leave the house without having much of an idea where I want to run. Rexburg is only a couple of miles in diameter, so there aren't a ton of ways to get lost or in harms way. Today, I found myself gravitating toward Nature Park. This is a beautifully secluded part of town (even more than the rest of it, surprisingly). As its name suggests, Nature Park is nature with a sidewalk cut through it.

I can remember the times that I have been to Nature Park in the past almost eight months (!) that I have been at school.

The first was on a run with one of my friends from the mission.

The second was with my first college boyfriend, as we sat on a bench and talked about nothing significant.

The third was the first "warm" day of the "spring" ... warm being 40 degrees. In my insanity, I ran there with a short-sleeved tee-shirt. Living in Idaho will do that to you.

And the fourth was today.

As I ran around the park, I came to the park bench where visit number two took place. I came to an abrupt halt in front of the bench and felt the overwhelming desire to sit down and look out over the pond that lay in front of it.

So I sat down.

I can't exactly explain the feeling that I felt as I sat down, but I can try to explain what it wasn't. It wasn't de-ja-vu, but it was just as stirring. It wasn't nostalgia ... because there was nothing really extraordinary about any encounter that I had in that park.

It was the beginning of revelation. As I looked out at that same duck pond on the same bench that I sat on almost six months ago, I realized how constant the change of the world is. The seasons change when they're supposed to (well ... I guess that is debatable in Rexburg ... but I digress). The ducks flee when they begin to feel the chill of winter and come back at the first sign of warmer weather. Nature Park has been the same for years and will continue without change for years to come.

The place hadn't changed. But I had.

As I sat on that bench, I thought back on my time in Rexburg and was stunned by the amount of personal growth and life lessons that Heavenly Father has packed into my experience. I lived my life out here, and I think I lived it pretty well. I was refined in my education. I was refined socially and spiritually. I worked hard to control my finances.

I hate to say it, but I think in the past two semesters, I have grown closer to being an actual adult. It's been pretty gradual and I still have a whole lot of life experience to have before I can officially drop the young from my young adult status, but the need to leave behind the things of my past and push forward into exciting new territory is becoming more and more obvious. Sometimes that future is scary and hard, but other times it is full of happiness and love ... and EVERY SECOND is worth living.

Each second gives me the chance to change and grow and develop. There is nothing more exhilarating than that! I hope that the weather will be beautiful when I return to Rexburg in the fall. I hope to return to that same bench in Nature Park and to feel the same amazement as I look at the local family of ducks. I am sure that the place will be no different ... but I have hope that I will.

prove me now herewith

I can't miss the opportunity to write about a miracle that happened in my life last week.

After buying the cheapest plane ticket that I could to get up to Rexburg for the start of the semester, I was pretty much broke. Gone were the reserves of money that I had been saving up from before the mission (really, before the end of senior year), finally exhausted after having a good, long run in my bank account. My situation isn't terrible because I have a couple of investments that give me monthly money, but I knew that after paying rent and all of the other start of school expenses, I would be totally and completely out of money.

The comfort of being at home for the holidays lessened my worry about this particular problem. But when I started to think about buying textbooks on my first day of class, the worry began to creep into the back of my mind. I calculated on my fingers my assets and what I needed to buy. I remembered that on top of all the things I needed to buy, I still hadn't paid my tithing for that month. Ayayay ... I thought this to myself several times as I tried to think about how to make ends meet.

I have heard my entire life that tithing brings blessings. It has always been a known fact, and I never have had a problem paying tithing because I have always been aware of those blessings. On my mission, I told people all the time about these blessings: "Prove me now herewith, saith the Lord of hosts, if I will not open you the windows of heaven, and pour you out a blessing, that there shall not be room enough to receive it." In not seeing a way forward financially for the beginning of this semester, I had a chance to prove the Lord.

I went home after class and paid my tithing. I then set out on all of my errands that I had to accomplish for the day. Pay rent. Pay for the necessary books. Pay for food. All the time, in my head, I was calculating how much money I had left. When I was at the checkout line in the grocery store, I stared in disbelief at the total for my shopping cart. It was a little bit less than the money that I had left to spend. I don't know how, but somehow, Heavenly Father stretched my money to be enough. And I believe that that is part of the blessing that he poured on me for paying my tithing. What a miracle.

Later that night, I posted on my Facebook about this little miracle. Since I have been home from my mission, I haven't been an avid Facebook poster because I don't want to bother anyone with trivial things. I knew, however, that I HAD to testify of my experience and the goodness of Heavenly Father ... because I knew that the blessing of having enough money to pay for everything I was stressed out about was a direct miraculous response to my worries and fear.

Not one hour after I posted that Facebook status, a couple of my friends came over to catch up after the break, and they said, "Hey, Laney! Someone left you some food outside. We thought we'd bring it in for you!" I blinked two times, processing what they had just said. Bags of food for me? I immediately said to myself, "Oh my word, they shouldn't have gone to the trouble ... I am not in a desperate situation. It will all work out eventually." I guess I haven't had the chance to be on the receiving end of such thoughtful charity.

But I saw the Lord's hand in those bags of groceries. It was an anonymous thing, and I wondered who my benefactor was as I put the contents of the bags in my cupboard. Boxes of macaroni, a huge bag of rice, applesauce, and other food replaced what was once almost bare (my average college diet). This random act of kindness reminded me of God's mercy and love. It reminded me of the goodness that is still in the world. It also reminded me of the responsibility that I have to help those whose needs are so much greater than my own.

I am so grateful to those who have helped me get through the beginning of this semester (which is going to be amazing, by the way). Thank you, anonymous friend that was willing to go out of your way to make my day. Thank you, parents who taught me the value of paying a full tithe. And thank you, Heavenly Father for showering your blessings upon me when I proved you. I do not have the room to receive all of the blessings that He has given me.

looking forward

2015 was pretty momentous for me!

For half of it, I was on my mission in Chile. This was definitely a highlight composed of thousands of little daily highlights. I can't begin to mention all of the wonderful bright spots my mission brought to my life. Just like everyone promised me, I think about my mission every day. I dream about my mission every day. It continues to be a huge part of my life. I love the people of Chile. The challenges that I faced on a daily basis, paired with the immense grace I was able to feel from Heavenly Father, helped to change and define who I was as a person.

Sadly, but also awesomely, I came home to experience the biggest challenge of my life. My life. I was at home to see my sister Savannah get her mission call to Bakersfield, California. I went to the temple with her. I taught Sunbeams (the five year olds at church) about repentance and how to appreciate clothes. I spent some time finally learning to knit and getting caught up on the pop culture I missed during my 18 month service as a missionary.

I went to school at BYUI. I was called as the Relief Society president. I made so many friends that shaped and influenced me to become a better person. I learned more about myself and what I want for my future. My classes stretched and helped me to view the world with different eyes. I got closer to Heavenly Father in so many ways -- through scripture study and prayer. I started the process of applying to become an EFY counselor.

It was a beautiful year.

I love it when a New Year happens. It offers a new start -- no matter how crazy a year has been, a new year gives new opportunities. No matter how wonderful a year has been, a new year can hold the promise of a year that is even more spectacular. 

It is amazing to think that EVERY PERSON HAS BEEN GIVEN THE SAME 365 DAYS THIS YEAR! But what I made of my year is completely different than the next person because of the choices I did or didn't make. I want to use my time more efficiently this next year in order to learn, grow, and experience even more than I was able to this past year.

It's quite the challenge -- because, like I said, I had a pretty stinking incredible year. But I have a couple of goals for 2016 that I want to accomplish.

So, without further ado, my goals!

1. I am going to get control of my finances! The apostles counseled about this in the past General Conference, so I am going to learn to live by a budget and the principle of SAVING money! Dave Ramsey tapes, here I come.

2. I am going to eat healthily and work out every day. I really want to start forming healthy habits so that it will be easier for me to maintain in the future. I plan on following a meal calendar and taking advantage of the workout classes that are offered at BYUI.

3. I am going to blog once a week! I feel like blogging would offer me a good time to think introspectively and focus on the big lessons that I learn throughout the year.

4. Spiritually, I want to prepare better to keep the Sabbath Day holy by reading the lessons for each class before Sunday. Also, I want to attend the temple once a week!

There are a lot of other things that I want to accomplish in 2016, but for now, I feel like this is a good list to work on! Wow! The potential awesomeness of this year is hitting me right now. I am so grateful that each day is a blank slate that I can write my story on each day. I am especially grateful to Jesus Christ who made that possible. He makes every day possible!

the upshot of it all

"Country roaaaaaaaaaads, take me hoooooome ..." I could not get the croonings of John Denver out of my head as my dad, Spencer, Savannah and me careened down the iced-over highway of Utah. With the promise that there would be nothing SCARY or LIFE THREATENING in between Provo and the mountains of Colorado, I hopped into the car, more than willing to take over from my dad, who had been driving for more than 24 hours to come and pick me up at school in Idaho. So, with that false hope of safety, I began to drive.

And then the road began to curve and we began to ascend. I felt my ears increase in sensitivity and I felt the tension in the car rising. My dad didn't say anything, but I could tell he was not sleeping, so I assumed the silence stemmed from terror. I couldn't tell if the road was icy, or merely brushed over with the salt mixture that Utahns and Idahoans love to use. I tried to manage my speed based on the trucks that were cautiously driving with their hazard lights on, but it was hard to tell if they were going the appropriate speed because there were also cars that were whizzing past me at high speeds.

I think my dad started to lose a few years of his life prematurely in that canyon mountain thing. He called out for me to find a place to pull over and park so that we could switch places, but there was no place in existence. I couldn't see the signs very well, so I failed to notice that the two lane highway had narrowed to just one lane. A huge semi was suddenly right next to me and I was freaked out.

I am not sure when we exited the canyon. I kind of blocked the memory out already. But I do remember the feeling of relief that came from handing the wheel over to my dad and taking a back seat position of honor. My dad poked fun at me, but I know he knew I did the best that I could. I mean, I think he did. His power to maneuver the situation was so much more than my own, however.

And so it is with Heavenly Father. This semester has been really good in teaching me that Heavenly Father is so capable of guiding my life if I will just let him. If I don't, it's not like my life will be completely messed up. I can still manage ... just barely adequate in my ability to make decisions and to handle my talents. But He definitely can guide me waaaaaay better than I can myself. And in a way that causes a lot less stress.

This semester, I had to a lot that I needed to learn. I needed to learn about my passions, about the way that I demonstrate love to people, and how to choose happiness despite my circumstances. There were moments that I started to feel really comfortable with myself and I began to take my own wheel and drive in the way that I wanted to. I thought that the road would be easy and without bumps ... because I was capable.

But I soon learned that I didn't have things under control. In fact, I lost control. I started getting terrible grades, I had less than satisfactory relationships with the people around me, and I wasn't really able to handle my callings. I was lacking balance. I gripped the wheel with terror, trying desperately to get back on track, but feeling really stressed out. 

In those moments, I chose to turn to the Lord. I literally cried out, "JESUS TAKE THE WHEEL!!!" I studied the scriptures with more intensity than I have ever read in my life. I prayed for strength and to have my heart healed. I changed my perspective to be able to see my trials as building blocks instead of stumbling blocks. I gave my life over the Lord and I found so much satisfaction in what he was able to do with my life. I ended my semester back on track, thanks to the heavenly assistance that Heavenly Father was able to give me.

I'm reading in the Book of Mormon in 3 Nephi right now. This is the BEST part of the Book of Mormon because it describes Jesus's visit to the Americas. I love the pure simplicity of the doctrine that he teaches. In his second sermon to the Nephites, he talks about the promises that was made to the people of Israel. One promise that he made stuck out to me as I was reading today:

"For I will go before them, saith the Father, and I will be their rearward."

I love this description. I know without a doubt that Heavenly Father leads me in my life. He gives me little impressions about my decisions every day that help me to know that. He has helped me to know what I need to study, who I need to be friends with and date, what I need to accomplish on a day to day basis. He guides my life with such precision that I can't begin to understand how wonderful it will be when my life is over.

I also know that Heavenly Father has got my back. He supports and uplifts me in my righteous decisions. He helped me all semester with my calling as Relief Society president. He supported me through my trials, especially on the days when I felt lonely or afraid. He sent angels in the form of great friends and family to sustain me when I was weak. He gave me amazing professors and leaders that gave me advice and helped me to gain my academic and professional confidence back.

The road was bumpy and icy this semester (literally and spiritually and in every way actually), but Heavenly Father was always there for me. That was the most personal and beautiful lesson that I could have learned during my second semester of college. It is going to help me throughout my life -- because life is a highway (hahahahahah, so many country road songs) and it is taking me home, to my heavenly home. I am so grateful for this knowledge, and the safety and happiness it gives me despite the challenges that I face.

My awesome roommates (plus Kaesi, minus Chelsea [who graduated this semester and was super busy with homework when this pic was taken]). It certainly was a pleasure living with them this semester!!

My Relief Society -- I love them so much!!

One of my very best partners in mild crime this semester -- Kaesi! She made me such a better person and helped me to experience new things!

The Escape House -- so, basically you are locked in a room and you have an hour to escape. It was super fun -- and the company was AWESOME! :)

I got the chance to teach my favorite little sunbeams on Sunday! They are the cutest and are growing up so much! No longer are they the squirrely three year olds I taught over the summer! They are little grown ups. I adore them!

We got a visit from Santa ... which was awesome. I asked for a ring (JUST KIDDING).

Week Seventy-Eight: Misión Cumplida

I finished. I finished my mission and I finished it working hard. I don't even know how to feel right now. To be honest, I don't feel anything except a happiness that is a lot bigger than my heart knows how to handle. I feel like my mission has been a perfect perfect perfect way to start my adulthood. I am so grateful for the time that Heavenly Father has given me to be here in Chile and to love these people and serve them. It has been the best! I can't wait to see what other adventures Heavenly Father has in store for me. I want to know what the will of the Lord is and do it. Because, really, in the end, what He wants is the only thing that matters.

I'm leaving tomorrow in the morning. We're going to the temple and then I am going to get on a plane to come home. I'll see you really soon.

Con amor,

Laney

Week Seventy-Seven: Gratitude

Area: Collao
Companion: Hermana Parkin
Hermana Parkin's Blog: Cambios

Dear familia,

We had a zone activity today that was great. We got special permission from Presidente to watch The Best Two years and it has me a little bit nostalgic. The Elder in the end of the movie goes home ... and he says, "You have to enjoy every moment. It goes by so fast." And it does.

It's been a good ride.

I guess that this could be the last email that I send home. I can't believe that. I can't believe that I am about to leave this country and these people that I love so much. I have spent 18 months of my life serving the Lord and it has been so hard ... but I have loved EVERY MINUTE of it.

French toast and The Best Two Years. It was a great activity!

This past cambio, Hermana Parkin and I have been working so so so hard together. We have been trying to give our best efforts to the Lord and He has been blessing us so much!

We had a great Sister Study on Saturday. Hermana Parkin and I have been planning it for weeks. When we were walking in the streets, in the time that we weren't calling people to set up appointments and calling members to come with us to said appointments, we were talking about how we could make it a super special experience for the Hermanas.

We decided to have a tea party. Hermana Parkin loves to plan things like that, so we went out and bought a TON of cute things to make it amazing. We printed out little tea pots, made brownies and finger sandwiches, and just really tried to make it different than all of the other studies that we do in the mission.

Our table for the tea party.

It was a complete success! The Hermanas could definitely tell that we put a lot of effort into the party and I think they could feel how much we love and care about them. It was a great way to start off our spiritual lesson about the principle of return and report. 

We started out reading our mission calls silently and then we talked about the blessings that are promised and the things that we have to do to gain these blessings. I started to cry as I realized that all of those blessings promised and more have been realized in my mission. It was an amazing feeling.

I think that it is that same feeling that I felt when I was leaving the MTC and I realized that I didn't have any regrets. I feel that same way. I don't feel afraid to end the mission ... I just feel really really really grateful. I am so grateful for this time that the Lord has lended me to be able to serve Him. I know that I am not perfect, but I also know that He has never expected me to be perfect. I feel like He accepts what I have done so far ...

I am bracing myself to make the transition. I never ever deny that I am leaving when the people ask me ... instead, I say, "Yeah, I am leaving in a week, thank you!" And then when they ask me how I feel, I tell them how grateful I am to be a missionary and how hard I am going to work so that the next couple of days are the best of my mission.

The thing is, I don't think that I am done being a missionary. I am never going to be done being a missionary. I am never going to stop working to be more and more consecrated. I am never going to go inactive from the church. I am never going to lose the enthusiasm and wonder that I feel for the gospel. I fasted for that this week ... and it was such a great experience.

Hermana Dominguez, the newbie I was with for the
newbie conference this cambio! She is from Mexico and is
super awesome! We had a lot of success together!

En fin, I am a happy individual right now and always. I am so grateful for the life that my Heavenly Father has given me and I think that the reason why I am so greatful is because I never expected how it would turn out. I have worked so so so hard to know what the will of the Lord is in my life ... I feel like ever since I went to EFY as a teenager that has been my constant quest. I have worked hard in my mission. I have tried the best that I have known how to do ... and I know that I have received blessings for that.

I have grown to love a people and a country that had hardly ever crossed my mind before. I have learned a new language. I have learned a lot about the gospel and about how to share it. Even though I can't really tell, and even though I feel like progress is really slow sometimes, I know that I am a different person than when I left home. I feel a little more mature and grounded. I know that as I keep trying to make righteous decisions, I will be able to keep growing to reach my full potential.

Zone Leaders and Sister Training Leaders who are getting
ready to leave the mission.

This next week that comes is going to be crazy. We are going to have two mini cambios, three activities in the ward, ward conference, Lieslie's baptism!!!!, and my last interview as a missionary. I am so excited for the things that are coming. I feel like part of faith is knowing that there are way better things ahead than the things that we are leaving behind. I know that it's true. The future is BRIGHT!! :)

I love you so much! I hope that you have a great one ... and I'll be seeing you and hugging you real soon. :)

Con mucho amor from this side of the globe,

Hermana Blau

They put our names on the board when we are getting ready to go.
Just after taking the picture I erased my name. haha

Week Sixty-Six: Heavenly Father Answers Prayers

I love them so much! I was pretty much bawling when they took this picture.

Area: Penco
Companion: Hermana Antillon

Familia,

There are so many things that happened this week. Here we go with the most random letter of the world.

We had a great mini-cambio with Hermana Sheppard and Hermana Osborne. I went with Hermana Sheppard ... and I just love that girl to pieces. She makes me feel like a rockstar every time I am with her. Actually, she makes everyone feel that way. I always learn so much about love on these mini-cambios. I understand a little bit better now why CHARITY is the most important Christ-like attribute ... without love, nothing else really works.

I hit 15 months in the mission this week. To mark that day, there were a bazillion earthquakes. It was the first time that I have ever felt one! We were studying and I suddenly felt really dizzy. The doors were rattling and the furniture started to move around. It kind freaked me out ... even though it was really exciting, but all of the Chileans were like, "Ah, that wasn't anything." It's just like the time I have on the mission. It seems like a crazy thing, but really, it isn't anything. Ayayaya, the time has just flown by so quickly. I can't believe that I just have three months left, but I am determined to make them the best three months of my life. I have learned so so so much and have met so many people that I love ... and I am just excited to keep on working with that.

This week, we found a menos-activa and her non-member daughter. We were able to talk really openly with them and got to know them almost immediately. The daughter was running around a little bit to control her three little kids ... so it was a little difficult to start the lesson. Finally, she was able to sit down with the baby and listen to us. We pulled out our hymn books and asked if we could start singing a song ... everyone was alright with it, so we started to sing Secreta Oracion (Secret Prayer?). Slowly, the look on the baby's face turned from a smile to disgust. He started to cry and Hermana Antillon and I had to stop singing. We were laughing so hard. We sing so badly ... that a baby cried.

We had a good lesson with Ivonne this week and with her pareja. I LOVE THIS FAMILY. The kids were waiting anxiously for us to come. Ivonne said that her daughter had been asking all day when the Tias were going to come (Chileans say tias to all types of ladies). The whole family is showing a huge interest in the gospel. It is a MIRACLE!! We just teach the doctrine and they seem to get it. Ivonne is reading the Book of Mormon really well ... well enough to ask us what the Urim and Thumim are. I am so excited to see them progress.

Sister Study this week! Whooooo, it has been a hard cambio with the Hermanas here in Penco. We decided to make a breakfast for them before the study and it turned out really well thanks to the Pancake mix that mom sent me for Christmas. I only caused two explosions on the crazy Chilean stove top... it was a good cooking experience. We talked about the Atonement and how it can make us clean. How it can help us to become more and more perfect. I have never felt so blessed by the Atonement as I have on the mission. I know all of my weaknesses pretty well by now ... and I know that Jesus Christ can help me to overcome them.

That day, we also had the first session of Stake Conference. Hermana Solange called me a couple of weeks ago to see if I could sing in the Conference and I was all for that! I got to sing a song called, "Familias son eternas," and I think that it turned out pretty well. The better thing than singing was getting to see all of my peeps from the stake. Josue Castillo, the eternal investigator that I had in Frutillares showed up! That was exciting! Also, I was able to see Manuel!! I love that man sooo much! He is progressing so well. Actually, he just got the Melchezidek Priesthood. At the end of the conference, I loved going to all of the people that I know and greeting them. Hermano Carlos Torres told me, "You are the second most well known person in the stake behind Presidente Navarro." Haha, after a year in Penco ... I have come to love these people so much.

Even better than the stake conference on Saturday was the conference on Sunday. The talks were awesome -- all focused on the Atonement. I sang "Be Still My Soul" and I was so humbled be all of the compliments that I got. I am so glad that I can use my talents for something out here.

I also got the chance to go back to Frutillares for the second Sunday session. We had lunch with Hermana Solange ... it was like a dream come true. When we drove into Tome, it was bizarre. I have come down that highway three thousand times, but this time was so different. It was different because I am different. I am a better, happier person. When I walked into the chapel, I felt like crying. It was so familiar. It was like I had never left. I was bombarded by so many hugs and kisses and handshakes and I love yous ... I don't know what I did to deserve that much love.

This is the bulletin board in Frutillares.

It made me think about the law of the harvest. Like, what you sow you also reap. I thought about the process of sowing -- it makes you dirty and it is hard work, but the harvest is so great. As I looked out at the congregation of Frutillares, I was moved to tears. Look, there is Manuel! Look, there is Carlos (my golden investigator that stopped listening to us). There is the beginning of my harvest. It isn't going to stop. I will be harvesting for the rest of my life. As I took pictures with everyone, I felt so happy. I felt so complete.

We went and surprised the familia Cisternas. I snuck into their house 

(because their door was open) and when they saw me, they started to scream ... 

I hope it was because they were excited haha. I love them so much!!

Tomé is a sacred place for me. It will always be a sacred place for me, because really ... it was there that I learned to love the Savior. It was there that I had to depend so much on Heavenly Father's love and guidance. I am so grateful that Heavenly Father gave me the chance to be there. I promised everyone that I would come back, and I really hope that I can!

The Familia Cartes

To find out about cambios we had to take a picture with five dogs.
It didn't end up turning out to be too hard.

That was the perfect way to end off my cambio in Estaca Penco. We got cambios this morning and I am leaving ... but not too far. I am going to COLLAO (it is basically Concepcion)!! Which is my dream sector, the sector that I have been praying to go to all of my mission. Now I am going there to kill Hermana Quintana de Peru [For readers not familiar with missionary lingo ... Laney isn't actually going to kill anyone. It just means that her companion is finishing her mission and heading home in six weeks. :)]. Hermana Antillon is also going back to Chillan (they are closing our sector ... say what?). It was so crazy to hear that, but I feel like this is just another confirmation that God listens to my prayers. He really loves us, you know?

I hope you all have a great week! I love you so so much!!

Love, Laney

Our zone hoodies (there are latinos in our zone ... but none of them
wanted to buy hoodies -- too hot where they are from haha).

Week Forty-Eight: Chau, Blau ... On to New Adventures

Area: Frutillares
Companion: Hermana Caseres

Oh, dear family ...

I am so content. I am so so content. I am so so so ... well ... I guess you get the picture. I am feeling a little short for words ... so ... apologies in advance.

This week was great. We walked and walked and walked soooo much ... but it was still rewarding. We had a focus on finding this week, and Hermana Caceres and I knocked on so many doors and talked to so many people. We didn't see a dramatic increase in new investigators, but it feels good to plant the seeds and then watch them grow.

I think that the biggest thing that happened this week happened yesterday. The people heard that cambios were happening tomorrow (not sure how ... because I have said absolutely nothing about them), but the people just hugged me and hugged me and ordered me not to leave. In the sacrament talks, Carlos Garrido talked about how much we have meant to his family. I looked around and the chapel was filled! I don't know how to describe how I felt in that moment. It wasn't really pride in what I have done ... because I have only done so very little ... but Heavenly Father helped me to feel good about the little that I have done and it felt so good.

Margot, Maria José, and Juaquin

Manuel Aravena (our AWESOME INVESTIGATOR) and me

A surprise from yesterday ... right after the priesthood passed the sacrament, I looked behind me to count the number of menos activos that we had in the church. To my surprise, I saw MATIAS SEPULVEDA sitting in the very back. Remember that kid that we visited for the first time a couple of weeks ago?? Ahhhh, I was soooo sooo sooo happy. This was something that I thought would never ever ever happen in my time in Frutillares. After Sacrament, I went to hug Noelia and she said, "Hermana, thank you so much. I think we saw a little miracle today."

Noelia and Matias Sepulveda. YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

This was another eye opener for me.

A little miracle.

Do you know how many little miracles I have seen on my mission? Do you know how many evidences I have seen that help me to KNOW that God lives? It is so incredible ... and what is more incredible is that we don't even realize when they are happening. It is only at the very end when we look back that they are oh so obvious. It is in the hugs goodbye that we see the depth of love. I want to get better at seeing the daily miracles ... but for now, looking at the things that have happened to me in my mission so far are enough.

Paz Cartes and me. We have to walk super far to visit this family and eat lunch with them,
but I love them soooo much! Paz reminds me of Minsy so much!!

Just like when I left the CCM, I can say that I feel content. I didn't do a perfect job here ... but I sure did the best that I could. I tried my hardest every day ... and I know that my time has been accepted by Heavenly Father. I didn't have that much success with my numbers, but during my time in Frutillares, I saw the attitude of the rama change. I saw attitudes and lives change. Making a real difference ... I don't know if I did ... but I feel like I helped a few people and loved a lot more. This cambio actually wasn't all that bad like I thought. I learned sooo much here ... I think that it will be like my holy ground for my life ... because I cried so much and hurt so much, but in the end, I GREW sooo much. I think that the biggest thing that I learned is that Heavenly Father hears and answers my prayers. Every single night, I have felt so much relief while praying. I know that he hears me. I know it. And I know a little bit better how to hear him. It's awesome. It's something that I have always wanted to learn. I didn't know it would require so much, but I think that it will be worth it in the long run. It is so sad to go, but at the same time ... I think that I am ready. 

Last night, I got a call from President. My hands were shaking, shaking, shaking as I answered. My heart was pounding. President said, "God has extended the call as Sister Training Leader to you." I didn't even know what to say. I think I sounded stupid ... he asked me if I would accept the call and I just said, "Yeah, I think so." I am going to Penco (which is just thirty minutes away from here) to be with an Hermana that I hardly know, Hermana Romney. We are WHITEWASHING! Whooooooo ... It is going to be sooo interesting, working in a barrio again. The area in Penco is huge ... and we don't know anything about it. Ah ... I am excited. I am sooo excited. I don't know how I should feel.

The Hermanas of the Zone. Hermana Sheppard (Virginia, USA), Hermana Marroquin (El Salvador),
Hermana Ponce (Mexico), Hermana Lorea (Argentina) , Hermana Bucarei (Chile),
Hermana Tejerina (Bolivia), Hermana De Leon (Guatemala), Hermana Mendoza (Honduras)

Hermana Caceres is a little bit sad. She doesn't feel like she can take hold of the sector. She is a little nervous about her new companion because she is a little wild (or so the Hermanas say). But I KNOW that she is going to be fine. I am sooo proud that she is my daughter. It hasn't been the easiest ... this training thing. But I have felt so blessed as Hermana Caceres and I have been working together. She is such a wonderful missionary ... and I really have learned to see her as Heavenly Father sees her. It's awesome.

Doing service with a sweet hat!

Cleaning up with the familia Cartes after the font overflowed
for the baptism of Bastian.

I love my life. I love it a lot! I hope that I can be the kind of missionary that Heavenly Father wants me to be. I hope that I can be someone that he can be proud of. That is the most important thing. I also hope that I can keep seeing the little miracles in my life. They are there. They are always there.

I hope you have a great week! Just FYI, I am going to start having just one hour to write. Also, Skype for Christmas is going to be for 40 minutes. I love you all sooo much! Thank you for your prayers and support. Also, thank you so much for loving me. It means so much. Enjoy the winter wonderland! I think we are going to head to the beach. :) Also, Nandy!! HAPPPPPPY BIRTHDAY! :) I don't know anyone else's birthday ... could you send me dates of the close relatives so I can send a shout out? If I have missed a birthday, I am sooooo sooo sorry!

Love lots,

Laney

Tomé. This is the beach right outside of the chapel in Centro. Beaaaaautiful.

Week Forty-Five: Fruits of the Labor

What Laney's idea of puppies was before her mission to Chile.

What Laney's idea of puppies is now.

Area: Frutillares
Companion: Hermana Caseres

Dear familia,

I am a grateful little hermana this week. This week was so weird, but I was happy during all of it. I guess that I am hitting the stride again.

After receiving that awesome email from Elder Shank, I felt sooooo happy and so animated. [For those of you who did not catch that last week, you can read Elder Shank's email to Laney HERE.] It is just so incredible to me that God knows every single one of us so personally and that the little things that we do can have such a big influence in the lives of other people. I am starting to come to peace with the work that I have done in Frutillares. I feel like I have been here just long enough to start seeing the fruits and I am way excited to see the fruits in my life.

One of these fruits is with Hermano Carlos Garrido. I love this man sooo much! When we started visiting him with Hermana Peterson, I didn't have a lot of hope for this family. The lessons we had were always so random because they talk and talk and talk. They never ever ever came to church when we asked them to because they always made an excuse. But with more visits, Carlos began to change. We talked and talked and talked with him about his mission and his time in the church ... and he began to get excited again. We haven't been able to pass by so much now, but they come to church every single week as a family and he has a calling.

Yesterday, we had a cita with an ETERNAL INVESTIGATOR. He comes to church every single week, but he never has accepted fecha because he has a lot of fear that he can't stop smoking and drinking. Anyways, we were thinking about people that could come with us to visit him and Carlos came to mind. I kind of pushed that thought away. He's way busy ... maybe he won't want to. But eventually, I called him. He came with us and it was amazing to see how he taught. Basically, he taught the lesson to Josue ... and Josue accepted fecha for the fifteenth of November. Who knows what will happen?? I was soooo happy walking away from this appointment with Carlos. Basically, if I was here in Frutillares just to help him come back to church, it was worth it.

We had the talks for Sacrament Meeting yesterday. I LOVEEEEEE giving talks. For this one, I talked about the small acts of kindness that we do that can make a difference ... even if it is just in the life of one person. I also sang Dear to the Heart of the Shepard and everyone loved it. I just love being led by the Spirit to know what to say and do. It is wonderful!

We met a few really prepared people this week. I don't know how they have been hiding all of this time, but they are starting to come out of the woodworks. Girlfriends of menos activos, old investigators, etc. etc. It has been really fun to find and to teach them about the gospel. I hope that we can start helping people to progress!! That is the most important thing for me right now.

Big news of the week,

Hermana Caceres got bit by a dog. That's right, my dear familia, another one of my poor companions got bit by a dog. They tell me that I have been saved from this missionary plague for one reason and one reason only. I have been here so long that even the dogs know who I am hahahaa. The day that she got bit, we were walking down a secret passage way to go see if we could find a contact. We found the house. Hermana Caceres at this time was talking on the phone with a menos activa when, suddenly, a dog ran up to her and bit her. AHHH. It was way worse than the bite of Hermana Bucarei ... and I was ready to kill that stupid dog. HEY, DON'T YOU KNOW WE'RE WORKING HERE??

We headed over to the clinic and got it cleaned up. I know all of the people there, as well ... which was enjoyable. We spent a couple of hours waiting, Hermana Caceres entered the ER, and then it was over. Basically, we have to go back to the hospital five more times to get shots. And I live another day, bite free. Yeeeeeehawwwww.

We were able to serve this week, which was a big deal because we never get to serve. There is this really, really old couple in the ward that is soooo cute. They dance the cueca professionally and have been together for fifty years or something crazy like that. One day, Wenceslao (the husband) came out with us to work and told us that his entire body hurt because he had been cutting grass all day by hand. The next day, we showed up at his house with our workout clothes and put ourselves to work. I love working with the earth. It makes me feel so good ... and it also makes me feel super good to help other people.

During correlation this week, I realized that I have been here for a lot of incredible things. I was here for the activity with the Book of Mormon. I was here for the activity of Pioneers. I was here to see the asistencia of the church grow a ton! It has been such a blessing to be here. In this cambio that I thought was going to be sooo hard with the work, I have been way surprised and way pleased. God works in mysterious ways. You know, I guess I have grown a lot here.

We are going to have a baptism in two weeks! WHOOOOO! Constanza is only 9 years old, but she really wants to follow the commandments. We taught her allllll of the commandments yesterday and it was awesome. The great thing about her getting baptized is that it is helping her family as well. They are reading together as a family and are really progressing. :)

I feel like everything is just normal. Things are looking up and I am feeling a ton better. I am not sure what changed exactly, but I am well. I hope that you have a great week! (American Pie is playing and I am thinking about Hyrum and Myyyy Myyyyy Mister Anakin guy). I don't know what needs to be going on with my applications and everything for college. But if Savannah and I live together, I want to be in a place where I can have a cat. :) [Laney's response when we asked if she would want a dog ... "I will never have a dog. Never."] I love you all so much!!! I pray for everyone often and I thank my Heavenly Father for all of the blessings that I have thanks to my dear family.

Lots of love from Chile,

Hermana Blau