efy (part 1)

I've tried writing this post 1.2 million times.

That's definitely an exaggeration, but I have attempted over and over again to put the right words together to convey just how incredible my experience at EFY has been.

I've talked a lot about EFY on my blog ... I've been kind of obsessed with this program for the past 7 years. As I have gotten to have the EFY experience as a counselor this summer, my obsession has expanded and matured. EFY has always marked important life change decisions in my life, and the time that I spent as a counselor has been even more life changing.

A couple of the big life changes are as follows:

1. I am in the process of applying to be a teacher at the MTC.
2. I am transferring to school in Utah.
3. I am dating the most incredible human being.
4. I have felt my heart expand 150 sizes.

EFY has been quite the ride.

I'll expound later. I feel like I am at a loss for words - mostly because there is no way that I can adequately describe how I feel about EFY without the appropriate changes in voice inflection, arm waving, etc. But a wave of information and memories is coming. I promise.

guess what????

"The will of Heavenly Father will be done ..."

That was not what I wanted to hear when I asked my dad to give me a blessing before my EFY interview. I wanted to hear that I would be blessed with talent beyond my own ... The ability to be witty in the face of anxiety. Instead, I heard a lot about Heavenly Father's will ... which was fine and dandy, but it didn't give me a lot of security that my teenage dream of becoming an EFY counselor would come true.

Why? Well, due to past experience, I have learned that my will is soooo finite when compared to what Heavenly Father has planned for me. It has been a pretty common occurrence that I have been on one life path, walking towards what I deem to be a worthy goal, and Heavenly Father reveals to me a path that is completely different than what I expected (like, the time when I was homeschooled ... or when I went on a mission ... or when I came to BYUI ... or ... well, I think you get the point). It never has been a negative occurrence ... the consequences ALWAYS make my happier than I could have dreamed on my own. But still, I have a long way to go before MY WILL is the exact same as Heavenly Father's will.

When I heard my dad say, "the will of Heavenly Father will be done ..." I tried to imagine what His will would be. I have been dreaming and living for this job for so long that I didn't even stop to think that His will would be different. What else would I possibly do? Would I need to find an internship? Would I need to be at home with my family? I realized that asking me to not be an EFY counselor would be the biggest trial of my faith I have had. I prayed and prayed that Heavenly Father would let me have the opportunity. If only given the opportunity, I knew that I could be a good EFY counselor. I knew that I could help kids to have a life changing experience.

So, I went to my interview. I did the best I could and felt really good about it. I waited a couple of weeks ...

and this week I got the email that told me I had contracts available to sign.

Heavenly Father wants me to be an EFY counselor. I got the job!!

I am so grateful! I started crying when I received the email, because it isn't every day that your dreams come true. I immediately began to think of every EFY counselor that I have had and I realized how much work I still have to do. These people have been super role models in my life -- I have molded myself for years to become like them because I admire them so much. And now I am going to be a counselor. I am humbled beyond belief.

Once again, I am SO EXCITED FOR EFY!!!!! It's good to have that to look forward to again. :)

As I was pondering this TREMENDOUS blessing in my life the night I got the email, I learned a valuable lesson. Heavenly Father's ways are higher than my ways and his thoughts are higher than my thoughts. Sometimes, in a graceful, tender moment, His will briefly aligns with mine. Sometimes, Heavenly Father's will is also my will. He knows my deepest desires and He is willing to give me all of my righteous desires. He guides my decisions in such an individual way, helping me to realize when I am walking down a path that will not bring me maximum happiness ... he guides me back to where I need to be. And when I am on the right path, He opens my eyes to see how merciful and wonderful his blessings are.

EFY interview

My father raised me on outside of the box thinking about businesses. As a result, I have never been much of a traditional job kind of girl. I never have applied for a job in my life. In fact, I have never even thought about applying for a job. It is not because I am lazy or afraid of hard work. Instead, I have chosen a job path that I have crafted for myself (with a lot of help from my parents and from Heavenly Father). I have my own cleaning business and have been working on investing my money in real estate. I donate plasma and scrape together scholarships to get by at school ... it isn't a conventional way to work and make money, but it works and I get by.

A picture from my first EFY ever (2009).

It has been my dream job for as long as I can remember; a goal that predates my goal to be a missionary or to be a college graduate. For the past seven years, I have aspired to be an EFY counselor. I have lived my life, breathed each breath, to be an EFY counselor. So, this past year, for the very first time, I applied for a job. It has been a really interesting process.

First of all, not applying for any jobs meant that I had no resume built up that I could give to EFY. I sat in front of a computer for hours last semester, trying to think of ways to phrase my talents and assets in a way that would make me sound like an eligible candidate for the position. When I got done with my resume and sent it in, I realized that I had put down things like, "Can eat a banana in 10 seconds" and other silly things ... without really giving it a second thought. I prayed that they would magically overlook any mistakes I had made in the resume and thought to myself, "if I get a second chance, I will prove to them that I am not a monkey minded child."

Luckily, I got a second chance. After a couple of weeks of waiting, I got an email in the mail that said I had made it to the next round of the hiring process. It was now time for me to do an interview through an app. Basically, this app allowed me a minute to prepare a 45 second response to a prompt question, recorded my answer, and sent it to EFY. The email granted me three day access to the application. Not feeling too well the day that I received the email, I decided to postpone it for another day.

That was a mistake.

I woke up the morning after, horrified to realize that I had no voice. My sickness had turned into something completely foreign to me, and for the first time in my life, I was speechless. I quickly asked some friends to give me a priesthood blessing to heal me immediately so I wouldn't sound silly on my interview, but instead, they told me I would eventually get better. I had to do my interview with no voice. It was kind of silly to whisper the entire time, but I felt that I did the best that I could. Still, making to want sure, and under the direction of my mother, I sent the EFY Hiring Office an email to see if I could get another chance to do my responses. They told me not to worry, and that I would know the decision on my application shortly thereafter.

I don't know how, but they somehow overlooked my froggy voice and I made it to the next round. The round that I had to do today.

Like I said in my last post, I saw my sister off at the airport yesterday for her 18 month mission. Since my interview was in Provo and I no longer had much of an excuse (or room in my schedule) to travel down to Provo during the school week, I decided to stay a little longer in Utah and get my interview out of the way. I asked one of my favorite mission companions, Hermana Harris (Hilary now), if I could bum at her house and made plans to have my interview today.

After a couple of delays in my flight schedule, I was finally able to make it to Provo last night. It was so nice to be able to catch up with Hermana Harris! She really is one of my greatest examples and a really incredible friend. We chatted all night about everything that had happened to us since we last saw each other. I am so grateful for her! She was able to drive me to my interview this morning and gave me a couple of tips (because she went through the process last year).

While waiting for the interview to start, I felt a little nervous. It was my first, not church or school related (but still church related, oddly enough) interview that I had ever done. This was a legit job interview! One of my friends told me that a job interview is like a date -- to be myself and everything would work out. I'm not very experienced in the work force, but I am experienced in dating, so I thought I might be alright. Right before the interview, I wasn't sure if I was prepared or qualified, but I felt in my heart that whatever happened would be the will of the Lord.

It ended up being a pretty relaxing interview. I was with one other girl and we were being interviewed by two people from the EFY hiring department (I assume). They asked us a couple of questions and then allowed us some time to prepare a 2 minute lesson based on a topic from the For Strength of Youth pamphlet that we selected from an envelope. While one of us prepared our lesson, the people who were doing the interview pulled us out for individual interviews. I felt so inspired by the Holy Ghost as I was doing my interview. There were words that came out of my mouth that I could not explain or identify their source. I never felt flustered or unable to communicate what I was feeling. It was incredible.

I gave my lesson on Agency and Accountability. It was fun to be able to teach and feel the spirit throughout the interview. I made silly analogies about In-n-Out Burger and Cold Stone Creamery. I tried really hard to stay true to myself and to allow the years of preparation and polishing I have been doing in the past 7 years show through. I am not sure how it will turn out, but I feel like Heavenly Father was definitely guiding me.

I will get the decision (if I am hired or not) in a couple of weeks. I have never wanted something more in my life. EFY is my passion ... because it is the thing that helped me to realize that I could live the gospel, be true to myself, and have fun while doing it. I am eternally grateful for this program! Even if I don't make it to the next round of the hiring process, I am glad that I was able to get a little more life experience as well ... finally applying for a job. I am starting to feel more and more like an adult and it's weird ... but it is also opening doors that I never thought possible and helped my dreams to come true.