on weakness

I'm super sorry for not blogging more. Really, there is no excuse. I have just made it less of a priority. This is super bad, because I want to remember the blessings that I've been receiving here at BYUI. I want to remember the random experiences that aren't going to last with me forever.

Anyways, this week was awesome. (Every week has been awesome). It all culminated with one awesome weekend of General Conference. For the first session, I went up with Mara and her two brothers (Myles and Christian) and had a super fun time. It hardly seems like it was real life. We woke up and left Rexburg at four, went to the morning session, and then were home by 6. What the random? Anyways, that session was AMAZING. I felt the spirit super strongly and got answers to a ton of questions that I had written down in my journal. Heavenly Father is really an incredible person. He knows me exactly and knows what I need.

This was seen in my life today especially. General Conference was great yesterday ... today was even more marvelous. I just left the morning session feeling like all was well. I am soooo grateful for the knowledge that I have that the true gospel of Jesus Christ is on the earth today. It affects the way I do everything. I am nowhere NEAR perfect; in fact, I'm sometimes incredibly awkward and not thoughtful and impatient. However, during conference, I felt like I knew exactly what I needed to change in my life in order to begin to fix these things. I felt the spirit like crazy. I was super, super fired up to live the things I learned and to pound out these last few weeks before the mish (what I've been calling my mission). I felt confident that I had the tools I needed to succeed, especially if I trusted in the Lord.

And then I looked at I-Learn. And I saw my Spanish Oral exam.

I studied for HOURS for this thing. HOURS. I felt really great leaving the exam, but I got a little bit of a lower score than I wanted to. When I looked at I-Learn, my spirits sunk. Thoughts like, "Man, I am never going to be able to teach effectively if I am struggling with planned conversations ..." and "Wow, I guess Spanish isn't my thing ..." flooded through my mind. I was overwhelmed. I was sad. I felt like crying my eyes out.

I felt better as I talked to my parents on Google Hangout. I sure do love them and miss their support. While I was talking to them, I realized that any mistakes I made on that test were because I didn't prepare enough for the exam. I remembered that I hadn't read the Book of Mormon in Spanish hardly at all last week, nor did I pray as hard to learn the language. I guess my results from the previous exam I had (a 100 percent) really fluffed up my pride ... and unfortunately, I totally fell for it!

After I hung up with my parents, I made a mug of herbal tea and opened up the Spanish Book of Mormon I had. I picked up where I left off (2 Nephi 26) and began reading. I read the Spanish out loud, and, although I understood nothing from it, I felt a little better about my life. A quiet peace replaced my despair--the Holy Ghost. One of the verses that I read out loud made me bawl, and I didn't know why. After all, I didn't understand a lick of it! I looked up the verse in my English Book of Mormon and it said:

For behold, I am God; and I am a God of miracles; and I will show unto the world that I am the same yesterday, today, and forever; and I work not among the children of men save it be according to their faith.

I felt that this answered my fears and insecurities perfectly. Heavenly Father can take me, a total GRINGA, and shape me into this fluent Spanish speaker. He can ONLY do it through my faith though. It is all up to me. Verses in the Spanish Book of Mormon continued to pop out to me as I continued to read. Each one of them applied to me personally. It was INCREDIBLE.

My friend John Bonney wrote me a letter this week (he's serving in Belgium right now). In it, he suggested something that I've been thinking about over and over again for the past couple of days. His advice to me was, "Pray like everything depends on Him; work like everything depends on you."  The Lord is aware of our needs. He knows what we need and he wants us to be happy. He wants us to have his peace continuously, but we have to be willing to turn to him, rely on him, and work like crazy. That is the only way that he can help us live up to our full potential.

I think that there are times in my life like the one I had earlier today for a reason. Heavenly Father has said that he gives us weaknesses so that we can be humble. That is SO TRUE. I am grateful for these humbling experiences. They never fail to provoke me to some kind of positive action. Today, I am going to rely on the Lord ... and read a few more chapters of El Libro de Mormón.

a little lesson

Mission preparation is a pretty awesome class for me right now. Totally a bright spot in my life. It has always been fun (I mean, my dad, the best teacher ever, teaches it), but it suddenly got real for some reason and I don't know why. We've slowly been progressing through Preach My Gospel for the past 8 months and are approaching the end of the course. It's crazy, because in the beginning, the class consisted of Adley, Thomas, and I. Adley and Thomas left on their missions (Thomas has already had a baptism!), I have my mission call, and now Adrienne is attending as well. We're a pretty happening group.

Anyways, today was another Mission Prep day. My dad used the commitment pattern on me and connived me into teaching a teensy weensy principle of the lesson ... the law of CHASTITY. Yeah, actually, that's kind of a big, fat, and heavy principle. For those of you that don't know me, I'm not that confident of a teacher. I have had a few experiences with practicing to teach that have been really humbling and kind of intimidating. So, when my dad asked me to teach, I accepted, but I knew that I needed to prepare like crazy to teach effectively.

Throughout the day, I was thinking about principles that have to do with chastity. I was thinking about ways to approach the topic of chastity. It was a lot of pondering. About an hour before the lesson, I started pounding my notes and previous talks given by General Authorities. I learned a lot of super cool things while on this pursuit for knowledge. Before I left for mission prep, I said a prayer that I would be able to teach effectively.

During class, I was amazed that I just kind of opened my mouth and a sweet five minute lesson popped out. I struggled a few times with the timing of questions and stuff, but overall, I did alright. My favorite thing was that it is just so simple when you really think about it. I guess when you teach principles like they are a super simple and straight forward thing with authority, people will believe what you're saying. Wait a second ... I did okay with a lesson on the LAW OF CHASTITY? WHAAAAAAAAT? I know that the only way that that could have happened was through my preparation and the help of the spirit. I really am not all that great of a teacher yet, but the Spirit totally is.  It makes up for all of the little things that I'm not that good at, and that's definitely a good thing to be totally sure of. I guess I kind of like teaching ... who'd of thought?

Other fun things that happened today:

I got accepted into my Spanish class! AWESOME. I got a super, super, super nice letter from one of my mountain trek girly's brother, Cole. AWESOME. It's my grandparents' 46th anniversary. AWESOME. I am almost completely finished cleaning the downstairs -- nice fall scent spray included. AWESOME. I finished reading 1 Nephi in Spanish. AWESOME. Tomorrow I'm going to the Temple! AWESOME.

Vida es buena.

(Also, hey! I just wanted to point out that I've been pretty consistent about blogging. This time, I'm for real, I'm going to keep it up!)

the coolest thing ever

I can point to specific times in my life where I have had my plans totally altered because of a prompting I have felt from the Spirit. For example, when Thomas S. Monson announced the missionary change, my entire life plan changed with it. On another occasion, I felt the Spirit prompting me to be home schooled. It then prompted me to hop back into school for one more year. I love these moments. They help my life to have direction and purpose, and I really strive to be worthy to have the companionship of the spirit with me always.

The coolest, coolest opportunity was made available to me this weekend. I was able to attend a YSA activity where Randal Wright was speaking. For those of you that don't know, Randal Wright was the teacher of the class I was in at EFY when I felt inspired to be home schooled. I was pretty stinking excited for this activity ... which is saying something, because since I have been a YSA, I've been pretty reluctant to participate in activities. I usually dismiss these invitations with a casual, "Ehhh, I'll be at BYUI soon enough." When I heard that Brother Wright was speaking, I knew that I had to be there.

YSA events are really interesting, especially when observing from a "not on the hunt for a husband" point of view. It was basically JUST like a super Saturday ... except it was extremely apparent that every single person was on their BEST behavior. For some reason, this type of atmosphere brings out the confidence in myself. I love the feeling of not caring what others think. I know that this should be an every day kind of feeling, and I'm working on that being the case. Anyway, I loved meeting a ton of new, friendly people at a dinner before the activities.

Our first activity was listening to Brother Wright speak. This was ridiculously filled with Déjà vu. I looked at Brother Wright in awe. His appearance and manner of speaking was exactly the same. His talk was exactly the same as the one that I heard at EFY. I learned a few different important things.

1. The spirit is what teaches, not necessarily the speaker. I love Brother Wright and think very highly of his speaking ability, but as I looked back on my experience at EFY where I received very personal revelation for my life, I was a little puzzled that I didn't receive any earth shaking revelations. I realized after he was speaking that it is definitely the spirit that teaches. While I was sitting in his class two years ago, I needed to hear specific things and as I listened I was able to hear. While I sat in his class two days ago, I needed to hear specific things ... and as I listened to the whisperings of the Spirit, I was able to hear. It was a good life lesson.
2. The completion of goals is not the end. Like I said before, I heard the EXACT SAME talk that Brother Wright gave a few nights ago two years ago. I remembered all of the stories and the morals that I was supposed to take from the lesson. It was about goal setting and he challenged us to prayerfully make a list of goals that we wanted to accomplish. I didn't make many, but I tried to make goals that were attainable. As I approach my departure for college, I have come to realize that a lot of the goals I made then have been accomplished. I wanted to get accepted to BYU and BYUI. I wanted to buy a house. I wanted to graduate high school. I wanted to be worthy to send in my mission paperwork. These and more have been accomplished. So, what else is there? I guess during Brother Wright's talk I felt a validation that my goals that I accomplished were worthy, but that it was time to set some newer, long time goals. That is how eternal progression works -- it always is in motion (for either good or for bad), so I want to be doing all I can to keep moving forward.

So, the talk was awesome. I got the chance to thank Brother Wright for changing my life. It was a peachy keen time. The dance that followed was way fun! I love the stress free atmosphere of dancing; it definitely classifies as wholesome recreation when done right. I loved meeting new people and getting to see some people that I already knew. To not be the oldest person at the activity again was a joy. I cannot wait for college! Only three and a half more weeks!

senior things (throwback tuesday)

THIS IS FROM TWO MONTHS AGO.

Ahem.

I don't even know if I can adequately describe how much fun my life has been lately. It kind of stinks because the last few weeks of high school have been surprisingly pleasant ... and I'm about to leave (I'm really not complaining). I have attended three proms, am nearing the end of my curriculum in all of my classes, and have been mostly feeling on top of the world.

I thought that by the end of senior year, I would be totally anti-senior. I was determined not to go on senior trip, not to attend prom (even once!), not to fill out a senior survey for the paper, not to get emotional at graduation, not to ... not to ... not to. I believed that the end of senior year would be just like any other ... except I would be leaving the school and never coming back.

As much as I hate to admit it, senior nostalgia is coming on. And it's coming on quickly. I am graduating valedictorian this year and with that lovely title comes a speech. Every time I think about writing that speech, I get a little weepy. It is difficult to think of my friends, whether they be friends that I have known all my life or friends that I have met in the past year, and how we will probably legitimately never see each other again without feeling kind of bummed out. My friends have definitely influenced me for the better, and I feel the pressing desire to spend time with them while I can.

Such is growing up.

At one point, as before mentioned, I was anti-senior. I began to regret that a couple of weeks ago when I remembered that I purposefully did not sign up for senior trip. This wasn't a big deal for me because it was just a forty dollar trip to Six Flags, but I was kind of sad that I was going to have to go to school and be completely alone.

I asked around to all of my other friends a few weeks before the trip if they were going on the trip, and the majority of them said yes. I guess senior trip is a pretty big deal to most people. Only two of my friends were not going and one had to be at a District Championship for tennis. Thinking that it would be doubly miserable to attend school knowing others were having fun, I suggested that we (being Sattaporn and I) take the day off and take an adventure.

Really, there was absolutely no planning that went into this adventure. At all. Sattaporn and I talked about going to the vacuum cleaner museum and the world's largest rocking chair along I-44, but that was all speculation. Classic Laney planning. A lot of maybes ... nothing concrete. Because of some planning issues, we also needed to come up with another person to come with us. Like I said before, not one single senior friend we had was going to be missing senior trip. We were in a bit of a pickle; luckily, Savannah volunteered to come along.

I woke up the morning of "THE ADVENTURE" as Sattaporn and I had taken to calling it and I felt awful. Not only had I woken up at two in the morning thanks to Minsy. My stomach was not feeling peachy. I almost didn't go to seminary because I was worried that I would get sick in class. I kind of labored through class and got home and loafed on the couch (it's my number one cure for not feeling well) until it was time to go pick up Sattaporn. My health still wasn't tip top, but I grabbed some medicine and headed out. I was bound and determined to make sure that this day would be lovely in every way. Of course it would be! Adventure isn't swayed by a tummy ache!

I've picked up Sattaporn for a lot of things, and this pickup was no different. As I rounded the corner to his house, I whipped out my phone and called him to announce my arrival. "I'll be there in three ... two ... one." Then I wait a little awkwardly outside his house for him to hop in the car. (The reason for this is a semi-long story. Short story -- One time, I came to pick Sattaporn up when he wasn't even home ... So, now I wait for him). We hopped in my super sweet Mazda Miata with it's super sweet stench of new car and its cool manual headlights and we were on our way ....

Kind of. We had to make a quick stop at the bank ... just in case we wanted to travel to Vegas or anything while we were adventuring. Since we had absolutely nothing planned, spending a bunch of money was a slight possibility that we needed to be prepared for.

I fully intended to plan what we were going to do during the day in transit from Sattaporn's house to my own, but that ended up just being a lovely intention. When my dad asked where we planned on going, I had no clue. Forced spontaneity is just the way I roll I guess. Since we really had no clue (have I said that enough times? I feel like I'm repeating myself a lot. Let it be known that everything that happened during our adventure was totally spontaneous and unplanned. Ahem) my dad suggested that we take some Cardinal tickets that he got for being on the school board just in case. If we didn't use them, it wouldn't really be a big deal, but he thought that it could be a cool experience if we tried to scalp them and make a profit.

So, with tickets in hand, a backpack with Cheetos and water within, a few juice boxes, and a Sharpie, we were off in the St. Louis direction. A big part of the adventure that Sattaporn and I did plan was the adventure playlist. It basically contained every song worth listening to from the 80's. I was surprised at just how much fun it was to come up with songs for the list. Really, I think the playlist is the main reason I was so determined to go on a real adventure. I guess I would have been content with just staying home and watching a movie or something, but with the playlist, I felt as though I had to be doing something that was soundtrack worthy.

Hummmmmmmmm...

There is so much that I could say about this adventure. I've felt this way a couple of times about writing things ... that there's too much to say and by the end the reader will be bored out of their minds even though it's a thing that is really special. If I am boring, I apologize. I'll try to spice the next part up with pictures and stuff...


Here is our adventure explained with words.

ROLLA (where we learn that anything can become an attraction that people from all over the nation are dying to see)

There are certain parts of the world that you have no desire to explore. You might see fancy billboards that advertise the existence of adventure worthy places, but in reality, you recognize that the people are probably desperate for the money of unsuspecting tourists. We decided that for our adventure, we wanted to please these desperate sales people. Luckily for us, these little po-dunk shops and museums are sprinkled liberally along I-44. To name a few of these locations: The Vacuum Museum, the Jesse James Wax Museum, the Puzzle Museum ... if it is an object that truly exists, chances are, there is a museum in Missouri that corresponds with it. Anywho, our first stop was at a little gas-station turned attraction called "The Trading Post" located in Rolla. I'm not going to lie ... it was a pretty sketchy place. Dust coated everything and a funky smell lingered outside of the facility. We took a peek around, looking for some type of souvenir, but everything was incredibly overpriced. A strange display caught our eye, and we began to read the description. Apparently, the Devil Fish (as seen above) is one of the rarest things to swim in the sea. I asked the man behind the counter about it's history, and while he was explaining it's origins, a man carrying a tea pot and with long dread locks popped up behind Sattaporn and muttered something about tourist traps. I couldn't help but just look in awe at this guy. I tried to imagine his life story, but I ran out of imagination juice. After this strange encounter, Savannah, Sattaporn, and I made a group decision to get the heck out of there.

As we were driving to find our next destination, we saw a sign for a yard sale. And so, living on the edge of I don't know what, we plugged the address into our GPS and started driving semi-dangerously to a part of town I had never seen before. We did some awesome exploring, but to no avail ... the yard sale was unfortunately non existent. Bound and determined not to let that (and the impending rain clouds) ruin our sunny perspectives, we continued to drive around searching for a way back onto the main road (it only took a few u-turns). Finally, we made it to Goodwill, a home away from home. Within, we were on a mission to find clothes that looked extra tough. For some reason, (I can't imagine why) Sattaporn believed that we didn't look tough enough to be scalping tickets in the middle of St. Louis, so our goal was to find something that would mask our innocence. We didn't have much luck at the Trading Post and the Goodwill was similarly fruitless. Apparently, kids that go to Missouri S&T aren't really all that hardcore. We did end up with some sweet cheap shades and cool hats, so I don't consider that stop to be a complete bust.

With our new touristy accessories, we decided to really get our adventure underway. I knew of a few places in Rolla that looked like popular world destinations (such as the mini-Statue of Liberty and the Stonehenge) but I really had no clue where these things were located. So we started driving. Luckily for us, these locations just happened to be along our way!

After stopping at pretty much everything worth seeing in Rolla, we decided that it was well past time to go. St. Louis was calling our name with it's jazz-filled streets and terrible reputation.

The Descent (where we begin to recognize just what we've gotten ourselves into)

The World's Largest usually indicates something completely awesome. For example, on the way to Mormon prom, we ate The World's Largest Banana Split at the Iberia Drive-In. It was one of the craziest eating challenges I have ever taken and, though it beat me in the end, it was such a fun experience. This was my logic as I continued to repeat my request to visit the World's Largest Rocking Chair. Simply because it had World's Largest in front of it, I believed that it would be pretty stinking awesome. It turned out to be yet another tourist trap with a sort of vile, never-ending gift shop attached to it. However, it was still something that I felt was an essential Missouri bucket list item to check off before departure. Check!

At this point, it was time to buckle down and just drive. Up until this point we had just been mindlessly wandering to whatever place suited our fancy, but we had a sort of destination to get to. Listening to the sweet croonings of country music sensations, the minivan cruised along at a sweet 70 mph all the way to the suburbs that surrounded St. Louis. We stopped at the eatery strip that lies just beyond the Six Flags exit. OH, SIX FLAGS? Yeah, we hung around for at least an hour in the general area where the rest of our senior class was enjoying a day off. I know for a fact that we were having a much better time, so it felt pretty nice just to flaunt it (but not really ... because no one could see us) in front of our class. After some prime time lunch entertainment -- we watched a super car chase down the freeway -- and after the elation of loafing started to wear off, an executive decision was made. Leaving Applebee's was about as far as we planned, but with some enthusiasm and a full belly, we entered the lion's den that is downtown St. Louis.

Now, if you can, imagine us ... three scrawny little teenagers. Okay, you can stop imagining now. Just know, the next couple events are completely ridiculous in hindsight. We have no idea what we're doing or where we're going. We plugged in a HIP HOP MUSEUM into the GPS and expected it to take us to a good place. Quick fact, hip hop museums are usually the epitome of beauty and are not sketchy at all. Instead of finding a place to experience culture and high society, we found a construction site in the middle of the ghetto of St. Louis. You can be sure that I got us out of there as fast as I knew how. We then kind of made our way to the Arch, but got lost a bazillion times. At one point, we were in the middle of a hobo tent city. It was a little stressful. 

The St. Louis Zoo has always kind of been my safe haven. I'm not sure when we decided to call it quits on the random wandering, but my memory reminds me that it was probably brought up in either one of two ways. Either Sattaporn noticed my increasing frazzledness and conceded to going to the zoo OR I said, "Can we just go to the zoo, please?" in a moment of selfish frustration. So to the Zoo we went. It was zoo member day, which pretty much meant that we got to do anything in the zoo for free, but it also was super crowded. We zipped through and saw everything that was worth seeing in less than two hours, which is a pretty impressive feat. After watching some mesmerizing donkeys for more than three minutes, I was calmer and ready to complete the rest of the adventure. Little did I know, the craziness was FAR from being over. In fact, in perspective, it had just begun.

Stage Penultimate

The next part of our senior trip was ... believe it or not ... totally spontaneous. We were so strained for ideas that we looked up, "fun things to do in St. Louis" on our handy dandy iPhones. One of the results from our search was called the Delmar Loop. Apparently Delmar Loop is one of the top ten streets in the United States. It also claimed to have a great music and food scene. Basically, there was no question in our minds whether we would be there or not. We drove to a public parking lot nearby the metro station there, locked the car after hiding a few valuables, and got our walking shoes on. Savannah, Sattaporn, and I came to party hard.

I'm a little bit of a paranoid person. I see sketchy people and I automatically start to bristle. Unlike Bella in Twilight, I do not wander in strange cities alone. I would much much much prefer a little country town to a city any day (if I had to walk around it myself). I will not lie, Delmar Loop was a little frightening to me. Maybe it was the ominous clouds that were hanging low to the ground. Maybe it was the police officer that was smoking a cigar outside of the Metro. Or maybe it was the fact that there were tons of people like myself that were just shuffling around with no aim. It gives me the shudders just thinking about it.

I found out very quickly that Delmar Loop was a ton of little shops strung together on a street. They varied in their total sketchiness. Sattaporn would poke into a new store every so often and Savannah and I would shuffle in behind him. It was incredibly amusing to just people watch on Delmar Loop. We popped into a store that I can only politely describe as completely nerdy. The jargon was so funny; the people fit right in with the jargon. Fun fact -- Delmar Loop is also home to the world's only joyless candy shop. Love did not exist in that place ... it just added to the surreal feeling that I was experiencing.

Although all of these places are near and dear to my heart, the best experience that I had on Delmar Loop started out a little rocky. Literally. We walked into this SUPER HIPPIE store without really realizing where we were. Sattaporn went to look at free love tee-shirts or something and Savannah and I were somewhere in the middle of the store. I was trying to keep from looking to approachable, but I guess in secret salesperson code my attempt made me quite the opposite. Before I knew it, there was a guy in front of me. He said something along the line of ... "Wanna buy some rocks?" And then I was talking to this complete stranger about the magical properties of rocks. I didn't know how to politely excuse myself, so I heard about chakras and ultra rare meteorite rocks and rocks from the moon. Sattaporn was quick to come to the rescue and as soon as a convenient time came, we were out of there. I had a little spirit rock thing that the guy handed to me to have for free, so I felt like that was a worthwhile stop.

All the way down Delmar Loop and back is not just a walk in the park. My legs were SOOOOO tired, but I was still really content and happy to be where we were. It was getting near to the concrete thing that we had planned on doing ... that is, getting to the ball park to scalp some Cardinals tickets. Since we were so close to the Metro, we decided to skip driving around to find a parking garage (thankfully ... I think another downtown St. Louis driving incident would have done me in) and just take the public transit. I really grew to love these systems while my family went to China. Some of my fondest memories from our trip included squeezing into the subways and riding double-decker buses all over the place. My paranoia in cities does not extend to public transit, so I felt pretty comfortable on our way to Busch stadium.

I had no idea what to expect at this game. Scalping tickets always seemed pretty pointless to me ... I enjoy just doing what I signed up to do. For example, when my mom and I went to General Conference in October, she suggested we ask around for tickets and I moped about it for most of the morning. Even when given the opportunity to go to my favorite places on earth, I still am reluctant to ask random people to help me. This was definitely Sattaporn's time to shine. It was incredible to tag along behind him as he tried to sell these tickets. At first, we tried to give it to people that were heading the the stadium. For future reference, people that are heading towards stadiums usually have tickets already. Then we tried to sell the tickets to professional scalpers. After a little bit of haggling, it was obvious that we were going to get an awful deal if we resorted to using the professionals. I knew that our seats were awesome, but I just wasn't sure how much money we could realistically get for them. I think the highest we were offered was something like forty for the lump sum, which wasn't good enough for us. Looking back -- the tickets were free ... so technically any offer would be a profit. It was just an insult to pride though, I guess.

One of my bucket list items for before I leave for college is to go to a baseball game. So, it wasn't such a sad thing that we eventually decided to give up scalping tickets and go to the game. We managed to get a ton of advice from the scalpers and some random scalper pro, which was nice. I loved hearing their life stories and how they got into the lucrative scalping business. I was relieved, however, to be out of that situation and into a comfier one. When I looked at our tickets, I thought our seats were nice ... it wasn't until we were admitted through glass doors by an old-lady attendant that I knew our seats were awesome. We were so close to the field, but not too close. Directly surrounding us were a ton of rich people. I loved enjoying the atmosphere of the game. It felt like summer. It was gauzy and light and humid and wonderful. Sattaporn had never been to a ball game before, so it was nice to watch him experience the things I love about baseball for the first time.

We didn't stay for long. In fact, we were there for less than two innings. That was enough to check "baseball" off of our to-do list though. My dad had set a curfew for when we needed to be back home, so I figured that keeping the rules was more important than seeing who won the game. After a long wait for our train to arrive, we headed back to sketchy Delmar Loop to grab some food. At first, a place with music was a must. Every place that boasted to have great music was either a bar or a hookah joint place as well, so we ended up at a generic Mexican restaurant. I found myself reflecting on the day (I do that around ten o'clock sometimes).

It seemed like so much happened during the day, but in such a short amount of time ... probably because so much did happen in so little time. Was it worth skipping out on senior trip? Definitely. Spending time with my best friends on earth is always worth skipping something that is deemed a vital life event. I felt totally justified in skipping a day of school just to skip ... because I learned so many life lessons. I learned about haggling and driving in downtown St. Louis and when to stop talking to strangers. After driving home to the tune of country music and lively conversation and dropping Sattaporn off at his house, I crashed into bed. What a day ... what an adventure.

hey, world, hey

I have been the worst blogger in the whole wide world.

Imagine your computer screen is actually my face and throw tomatoes at it. Never read my blog again because you are so offended that I stink at updating you on my life.

Or keep reading. It's whatever your heart desires.

Personally, I would keep reading for a couple of reasons.

1) INSPIRATION -- I have been getting a lot of spiritual whispering coming my way lately. It's been about a LOT of general things, which has been awesome. I love having the spirit as a companion in my life ALWAYS. One thing that has really been sticking out to me, however, is the great potential my blog has to uplift and inspire others (Mormon or not). I don't really think that the things I write are that earth shattering, but there is ONE thing that I know for absolutely certain: when inspiration comes from Heavenly Father, following it can bring so much strength and power from no where. So, I'm not sure about my ability to lift and inspire others. Maybe the things I vomit on to this blog will turn out to be wonderful ...

2) I AM SO BEHIND -- Part of the reason I have been slaaaaaacking can be found in my blogger que. I have so many blog posts that I have started writing. Just a few of the things that I owe my lovely readers are as follows: Senior trip, graduation, EFY, my stint as an au pair, Project grad, scholarships, college craziness. Yeah ... I have a lot. Updating y'all will take time. I wouldn't expect a flood of posts in the next few days ... After this month, my life will become significantly less busy as I wait for the super late beginning to my semester at BYUI.

3) EXCITING THINGS ARE HAPPENING IN MY LIFE -- If you're not too into the religious, inspirational side of the blogiverse, never fear! I kid you not when I say that my life is about to be incredibly awesome. CORRECTION. My life already is super awesome. I have been busy, busy, busy these past couple of weeks. But the future looks incredibly sunny. I just hammered out my schedule for college in the fall (I'm SO stoked). My family is going on a 50 mile hike next week (I'm SO stoked). I'm putting in my papers for my mission in almost a month (I AM BEYOND STOKED!). If you couldn't tell, I am pretty excited about how my life is panning out. Tune in to watch the saga continue.

I promise (with extra delicious cookies attached) that I am alive and well. This post is the revival of a wonderful habit. So, just to whet your appetite (and to get me into the swing of real blogging again), here are a few pics of the fun things I've been up to.

I was one of the thirteen valedictorians in my class. I thought that was pretty sweet.

And then I actually graduated ... and my dad handed me my diploma ... and I realized  that I would never have to attend high school again. That was REALLY sweet.

My lovely parents have been supportive through it all! I am super grateful for their guidance and their general greatness.

This picture happened a couple of weeks ago. I went to my very last EFY and it was kind of bittersweet. Something that was really, really cool about EFY this year: my sister, brother and I all got to attend.

Are you satisfied? Are the tomatoes back on the kitchen counter?

Good. More is coming.

the pursuit of perfection

I just ordered my Senior Pictures and they look pretty swell. I've been doing a pretty terrible job about taking pictures of my life, so expect to see a few of these beuts popping up every once and a while.

Although it looks like I have been stinking this year at existing ... I am actually doing really, really well. I keep up a journal on the computer, but it is not connected to the internet and really only consists of my rants so you're not missing much. Just know, I'm alive. I'm writing. I'm well.

Our new semester started ... and I'm really thriving. After some intense social changes in my life (they actually weren't too drastic), I have been able to really focus on my learning styles and play to strengthen my education. I've been writing and reading consistently, which is something that I thought high school had completely zapped from me. I love learning. I love it almost as much as I love breathing. I forgot about how much I loved learning until I totally went without, and now I can truly appreciate how knowledge is an important godly quality.

One thing that I have come to realize about the attainment of knowledge is that it never, ever stops. There is so much that I will never know, and that scares me, but while I'm alive, I totally want to soak up as much information as I can.

This realization has kind of guided me in my thoughts for the future. Actually, it has guided my planning in many ways. Because I can now see myself as I really am and as I really can become, I can sense a lot of work ahead of me, but I can also sense a lot of potential. I am sure that this is true of every person that has ever lived ...

Anyway, I like thinking about the potential I have. I think that is what propels me every day to return to school ... even when I feel lonely or completely exhausted, it's entirely worth it because I can feel the improvement that is occurring in me. I have gotten less and less patient with busy work, but more and more patient with people. I can comprehend literature much better than I ever have been able to before. Although my blog doesn't read like it, I have also gained some insight on how to improve my writing. My critical thinking skills are being carved out of a painful physics course. A love of history is thriving in my brain. It's really awesome to think about how far I've come in less than six months!

Even with all that potential and improvement I've been experiencing, I feel like I especially have a lot of work to do. Sometimes I get a little overwhelmed at all the things I should be doing. I should be writing a page in my journal document a day. I should be doing much better as an editor of the newspaper and in my callings. I should be improving my teaching skills. Ay ... it's an ever growing list that remains running through my head through most of the day. But I know that Heavenly Father is able to take my weaknesses that are very real and turn them into strengths.

For example, tonight, I attended a missionary preparation class. I love these classes. They are taught by my dad and are the highlight of my week. We basically follow a lesson book based on Preach My Gospel and we prepare to be better missionaries. I could completely relate to my friend, Thomas, when he said that he is humbled every time he goes to the class. I am ALWAYS humbled when I realize how infantile my knowledge of the gospel and how to present it is. I have a lot of enthusiasm, but I'm not a great teacher ... yet. Today we role played (which is something I have always kind of loathed); we were just explaining one scripture to an "investigator." I found myself struggling and could identify exactly what I did wrong each time I thought back on my little discussions ... but I also saw that I was improving a little bit each time I explained. The practiced helped me to visualize the potential I have within me if I will just put forth a little effort.

Jeffrey R. Holland, pretty much the coolest guy ever, said that, "The bar is not an obstacle to get over, but a vision to reach for." I think that this is SO true! (And not just because Elder Holland spoke it). Sometimes I see the things I need to be doing and I think about Christ and his perfect example and I am flustered. I am not perfect. But when I take a step back and really look at Christ and his mission, I am awed. Because that's the whole message! I'm not perfect, but he is ... and through him, I can be perfect. It's pretty amazing, actually.

I set the bar at perfection ... and I reach and reach and reach.

China: Day 2

Today, I found out what true jet lag is. Even though we stayed up until well past natural (US) sleeping time, the Blau's were all awake at around 3:30. We watched some Chinese television with English subtitles (maybe this contributes to the reason I love Korean TV), but no matter how boring the show was, we couldn't fall asleep. Finally, dad tapped on our door and suggested since we were awake, we should go on an adventure.

So we did. Well, we adventured as far as I was comfortable, and that was just across the street. We went to the only open market and there was all kinds of junk that we could have bought there. It was really incredible actually, but we really only needed water to brush our teeth. So, after choosing the cheapest brand, we began to leave, much to the dismay of the shop owner. Apparently he wanted a picture of Savannah and I! Us white folk are apparently a hot commodity in China. So we gracefully obliged and went on our way, hopefully to fall back asleep in the hotel room.

Sleep was not to come for the rest of the morning. It was Sunday, so there was church ... in ommunist-cay ina-chey. (When we said anything to the tune of Communist China, we made sure to speak in pig-Latin. I am now fluent.) Needless to say, the family was up and ready to go, sooner than I think we have ever been for good old church at 1 o'clock in the United States. We decided that we would try our hardest to attend church where ever we could in China, so we got to work finding the location of the nearest building. My dad circled the location on the map and we started to move out.

We conquered the subway on our way. The tickets were cheap, about 25 cents a ride, and it was decided that this would probably be the most efficient way to travel in the city. Since it was so early in the morning, and it was a Sunday, but there were a ton of people commuting to work. We looked at them in wonder, but their polite glances seemed to echo ours. I guess families don't often travel together in big groups like ours, with the one child policy and all that jazz. Although JoJo and Hyrum had some difficulty being smashed together, it was actually a pretty pleasant experience.

Because we couldn't pronounce where we were going, it was rather difficult to get directions. My dad had a hilarious way of communicating with the people walking by, and eventually, with the help of the iPhone, we were able to make our way to the area where we thought the church would be. Unfortunately, all of the buildings were identical high rises, and we couldn't read the signs telling us simple things like the building numbers. After calling a member of the Branch presidency, we made our way into the building on a corner (DQ was the front store, and we made our way to a higher floor where they held meetings.

It was so comforting to be in a church building. It was also comforting to see the green hymn books and stray BoM's littering the chairs. I felt totally at ease with the building and the people. This week happened to be Fast and Testimony meeting. It was incredibly interesting to listen to all of the people that had either moved to China for embassy work or were just visiting. There was even one woman who was visiting from Sweden because of a golf tournament! But I felt the spirit whisper to me that even though this was so different to what I've been used to, it was the same Gospel. What a lovely thing to know.

The kids that were in the were kind of squirmy and ornery, maybe it was just the day, but we got through some pretty stellar lessons and then left.

Once again, there was an adventure to be had at every corner, so we hopped back on the subway and made our way to the hotel. Yellow line, blue line, red line. Two stops before the Tianenmen Square stop (which was only a few blocks from where we were staying) was Wangfujing, the biggest shopping strip in Beijing. We decided to stop and check out what the big hullabaloo was about, and hopped off of the subway. The streets were packed with people. There were stalls selling delicious steamed buns and dumplings and egg rolls that were to die for. Every time we took a picture, a line of Chinese tourists would line up behind my mom and take a picture of us as well. It was so fun, but I could feel that the lack of sleep was starting to wear on me. I quickly began to be drained of energy and the stores started to lose their wonder. I just wanted to sleep for a little bit and return, knowing that I would be fine after a little recharge.

Every one else was pretty tired as well, so we went back to the hotel by foot (we were pretty close to everything) and decided to meet in half an hour. After lying on the bed for thirty seconds, I fell asleep and didn't wake up for another 12 hours.

China: Revisited

I've been missing China recently. To be honest, part of my heart is always missing China. I fall asleep at night dreaming of the day that I will get to go back someday, but I feel like little details are slipping my memory faster than they can put me to sleep.

Another confession: I feel pretty bad about not blogging while in China. How could I have neglected to chronicle such an obviously important part of my life? How can I sit and not try to squeeze everything out of my memory, that still resides there, and put it into words?

My answer is this. I know I don't blog as often as I should. But once a week, I am going to sit down and write. I am going to write about China day by day, no matter how boring and monotonous it may be, and I won't stop until I hit the day when I stepped back onto US soil. I just can't sacrifice those memories! They are WAYYYYY more important than sitting around loafing or surfing FB. So without further ado, here is Day 1.

I could hardly sleep that night. We stayed at a nice-enough hotel next to the airport and I could hear the planes taking off. It was almost frustrating to hear the jets roar to life, knowing that our chance to leave was hours away.

After waking up, I hurried to get dressed in my "traveling casual" which meant a nice sweater and sweats. We then went down to eat breakfast from the free continental buffet served by the hotel. The room was crowded with several Cardinal fans and a few business men waking up for their early meetings. They seemed so focused on their little worlds. I wanted someone to come and talk to us, to ask us where we were headed, just so that I could say, "We're going to China!" It seemed like a very important event to me.

One that should have been heralded by angels and declared from the rooftops.

We left with little more than a wave goodbye. Our uncle Joe was the chauffer of the day. We squeezed into our little vehicle and I crouched with half of my body hanging off the seat. There was so much luggage, too many people, and there certainly was a lack of room. I couldn't possibly imagine how we could fit an extra four-year-old into the car on the ride home. That wasn't important at the time. Our car was buzzing with tension and excitement. Surprisingly, there were only a few squabbles on the way to the airport. (Believe me, that is a miracle in the Blau car).

The journey through airport security was pretty laid back. There were no pat downs, no irregular bag checks, and no terrorist threats. In fact, I think that the security guards were pretty relaxed when it came to checking our bags. Maybe they pitied us. After all, six kids trying to get through American security is no joke. We also boarded the plane with few hiccups.

The plane was small. We couldn't even fit our small luggage! We were spread out and I volunteered to share a row with a girl that was flying to some northern state to visit her family. The girl was shy (I don't blame her -- she was almost ten years younger than me!), so she and I didn't talk much. It was a pretty lovely hour.

We then connected our flight at O'Hare. This airport was scary for me. There were so many different people and I was afraid that we would get swept off into the crowd. I clutched to my luggage and to my Vera Bradley side bag. Off course, there was nothing to be worried about. We arrived at our terminal safely and with no missing children. As we sat and waited for the plane to arrive, I couldn't help but "people-watch" those that were walking to and from their destinations. In our terminal, there were so many Chinese citizens. It was the first time in my life I really felt like a minority. I tried to listen in to their conversations, but I couldn't understand their fast Chinese. Perhaps my knowledge of Chinese children songs wouldn't be so impressive after all. I watched with fascination as the Chinese women finger knitted. After a while, I got so overwhelmed that I just tried to focus on my Harry Potter book. That was much simpler than trying to process my first experience with culture shock.

When the plane finally arrived, I found myself worrying. I worried about the flight. I worried that we would arrive and become total aliens. As suddenly as those feelings came, they left. I felt nothing but excitement. I was excited to be sharing seats with Savannah. Those fifteen hours seemed like nothing. It was only four movies and four hour-length TV shows. The flight attendants called out our class and away we went.

Our luggage posed such a problem on the plane. The suitcases were just wide enough that they were impossible to pull through the aisles. Another Chinese woman was struggling in front of us, and when we reached our seats, I went to help her. She offered her thanks in perfect English and then went to find her seat. As luck would have it, her seat was in the same row as mine. I was expecting to sit just with Savannah and an empty seat, so I was a little disappointed that this lady had the audacity to book a ticket next to mine, but I quickly changed my opinion of sweet Juan (pronounced Shee-an). She told me of her family that lives in China. She also talked about her trek to America that she took in order to have a better life for her daughter. When the conversation lulled, she pulled out a notebook and then taught me how to say and write some Chinese characters. I tried to fall asleep thirty minutes into the flight, and she covered me with her plane blanket. When the hours between meals seemed to drag, Juan offered me sunflower seeds. I really grew to love that woman in the short time I knew her.

The time flew and we flew. It was beautiful to look at the clouds from the perspective of the sky. I dozed off and on. I listened to the airplane's classical music channel (which only played four or five really popular songs over and over). The fifteen hours that had seemed so doable to me before seemed to drag on and on. Finally, we started to descend. Although it was three AM in America, there was no way that I was going to shut my eyes. I wanted to experience everything. There were little villages that I could make out at points, but most of the view was cloudy. I couldn't imagine that the rumors of smog were true, so I leaned over and asked Juan. She seemed to think that it was just cloudy all of the time. That it was just the weather. She said that there used to be a time when China's sky was beautiful, but now it was always gray. It seemed a tad bit depressing to me, but that didn't bar me from drinking in the sights.

When we touched down, there were a ton of planes that were taxiing. I stared at the Chinese characters that marked the different terminals. I couldn't help but the grandness of it all. For a small town girl, this was an incredible sight. There must have been thousands of people that were in this singular building. I loved China from the books and documentaries that I had seen, but I didn't realize how much actually landing on the country would intensify that love. I find that even now when I try to describe my love for China to friends, I can't find the words to say. I have such a respect for the culture and tradition that exists there. I love the kind people like Juan that were always willing to share a simple "Ni Hao" with me.

For me, China is love.

By the time we had made it to our taxi that would take us to our hotel, I was so tired that much of the anticipation and wonder had melted into a blur of emotions. I found myself staring out the window at the crazy traffic and not even caring. Our taxi driver kept asking us if we were from New York, and I found myself nodding my head in agreement. I just wanted to get into bed and not wake up for a long time. I was amazed to see the posh car stores amidst the run down, cheap souvenir stores. Beijing seemed gray. The streets, the sidewalks, and the buildings all ran into the same color. The smell was distinct. I can't describe it, but there always seemed to be a scent of mystery meat and smog. We finally pulled into our hotel, and I found relief bubbling to the surface of my emotions. I'm sure there was some struggle to get a good hotel room, but my mind was still focused on the lovely bed that I was sure awaited me.

We went and found our rooms and collapsed. Sooner than I would have liked, there was some noise about going out to get some food. I wasn't really interested in exploring, but dad insisted, so we got our shoes on and started walking. After we passed some promising shops, my dad turned into an alley way. There was a little restaurant to the left, and to the right was its mother ship. The owner seemed to spot white people from a mile away, because they were ready to quickly grab us in and pulled us up to the top room. I thought for a moment about how funny it would be to be fattened up in this top room and then slaughtered and put on display. (That might prove how loopy I was by the end of the day. Sleep and I are very good friends. It's beneficial to the world that I get enough). Everything seemed funny to me in that little restaurant. The portions were huge, my dad was trying to speak Spanglish to the Chinese waitress, everyone else was struggling with chopsticks. It was just too funny. I'm sure that there was a lot of giggling from the servers and cooks. The food was so good. I loved the greens. I loved the mushrooms with meat. Everything was so different from our Chinese buffets at home. There was a distinct flavor that I couldn't pinpoint that made everything's flavor stand out. When we were full of this delicious Chinese food and Coke, our journey home seemed to go much quicker.

The beauty of it all didn't escape me. I kept thinking to myself things like, "This is real. I'm in a different country. I'm in China." I was so grateful to be walking the streets with my family. I was so grateful for the opportunity. I was also so grateful for the long day to be over.

I really am here ...

Random picture of Adrienne and I on a super fun date! My blog has been pretty pictureless recently ... I apologize. :)

*Sweeping the Blogger cobwebs.*

I write a blog post every day. I throw my words down on blogger and then I save it for a later date.

I guess it's kind of like the sealed portion of the Book of Mormon ... except my posts usually sound whiny and would definitely not be edifying to those who still read.

(Shout out to Sister Jacobson! :D)

So, hey! I am here. I am alive. And I would like to think I am thriving. Heavenly Father has really blessed me with a lot of babysitting/house keeping jobs that will help me save for college road trips and EFY. With these extra jobs comes a lot less free time, (hence the lack of quality blog posts) but I have made a commitment to reflect more on my life and throw it all out here on the web.

Yesterday I traveled down to Columbia to begin planning for Youth Conference. The committee that was there was really fantastic, and I feel like I made some pretty good friends. We definitely had some synergy while planning and I am SO excited that we have a say in what will happen this summer. I feel like we can do some pretty amazing things!

I gave a talk today on listening to the Holy Ghost and I think it went really well. I was a tad anxious (when am I not?) because I really wasn't sure what I was supposed to speak on, but I got some really sweet and kind comments after church that made the anxiety worth it.

Really all of church today was about listening, recognizing, and acting upon the Holy Ghost. One thing that I really learned was that Heavenly Father won't let me make any big mistakes without warning me or letting the Spirit tell me what I need to do.

Through the past couple of weeks I have been really diligent about keeping some of my NY2012 resolutions and they have made my life absolutely rosy, but I still felt like something was off. I would finish all of my BIG rocks (they talk about that in the 7 Habits books), and then I would finish my little pebbles ... and I would finally finish all of my water activities, but I still felt like I needed to be doing something else. Once again, my anxiety began to plague my leisure activities.

Yadda, yadda, yadda. I asked my dad for a blessing and in it, he said the exact same thing that I got today. The Lord won't let me make any BIG mistakes with my time. Pheeew. Thank goodness. All of the weight that I had been feeling for no particular reason was lifted. I guess I didn't realize that I was worrying about the future, but I know that the Lord knows who I am. He knows my maaaany insecurities and he knows my name. I am pretty glad that I have the Holy Ghost that lets me know a little about Him as well, and what His plans are for me.

All in all, it was a great Sunday. AND THE SEMINARY CENTENNIAL is tonight. It just gets better and better.

the post that must be written

Wow ... it's been thirty-six days since we left for China.

It seems like a life time! And also a terrible time to not be able to blog.

Yes, friends, I'm afraid I have exactly 0 blog posts written from China. I know ... I promised I would have one EVERY day. But I forgot that we only have one laptop that passed the China security, and then the plug blew up. I probably will not be able to catch up with that information, and for that, I am truly sorry.

But I am trying to get back into the habit of blogging and whatnot. I've found that as I've delved deeper into the Spanish world, my ability to express my thoughts in English is getting worse and worse. I apologize for my lack of grammar as well.

With the start of December, I can hardly contain my excitement.

It's no secret that I am pretty effected by the weather. I actually hate winter weather (except for the snow) and I do not like day light savings time. But I do love the HOLIDAYS and my birthday that is coming up in the future. I love how close my family gets, regardless of the presents we receive. Christmas carols are finally on the radio ... It really is a BEAUTIFUL TIME!

Usually winter is a pretty bleak spiritual time for me as well. EFY and trek and Girls Camp are six months removed and I usually feel as if I've lost my mojo. However, I am happy to report that this year, the mojo is still going pretty strong. I went out with the sister missionaries from Rolla yesterday and it was such a splendid experience. I also have been truly studying the Old Testament, and really, it isn't as bad as I thought.

I have to say, though, that the most wonderful thing about this season is that I have another little sister to share it with. Minsy and I are pretty much super pals now, seeing as I spend all day with her. This means that I get a little less accomplished than before our trip (even though I never really got that much accomplished anyway), but I love hanging out with my tiny sweetheart. She really acts like a toddler instead of a four year old, but she is super spunky. I love her to pieces and it is so fun to watch her discover things and for me to learn new things about her as well.

Life is good ... it really is.

leaving on a jet plane!

In about three hours we're heading to St. Louis. 

We've been packing and cleaning all day. I got a withdrawal from my bank account (I've been saving for months for the trip). And now we're finally leaving. There have been some moments during the day when my breath has been forced out of my body because of it all. Really, this is going to be the trip of a lifetime!

I promise to blog and at least put photos on the blog as much as I possibly can. I don't know how the internet is in China and I know that my promises to blog more often in the past have failed miserably, but this time, I have a feeling that there will be enough downtime.

WAHOOO! Let the adventures begin!

PS. I took two of my finals for school this week. The first one came back a few hours ago (it was for my super easy CHILD DEVELOPMENT class) and I got a 100 percent! Which means I got a solid A in the class. I'm kind of proud.

PPS. Gas is 3.17. The Cardinals are two games away from winning the World Series and one away from losing. The temperature is a balmy 53 degrees. Vocal Point (BYU) is doing awesome on NBC's "The Sing Off." (Just for future reference. Who knows what the good old US will be like when we return? Besides the fact that there will be a super new Chinese-American citizen!)

of failure and facelifts

So, you know ALL of that time that I promised I would have to blog?

You know, the lazy summer days that would be full of potential and definitely FULL of great blog posts? Yeah ... I'm am just going to say it STRAIGHT up -- I was delusional when I said that. Not only was I going to CHICAGO for an extended stay, I also had a couple of camps thrown in the mix. But recently, I read this book called the Happiness Project. It was REALLY good, and really inspiring to me, although my mother said, "I would never read something like that." (Edit: My mom misunderstood my meaning ... she actually was referring to self-help books in general ... It wasn't that she doesn't want to be happy.) It actually had a LOT of good tips that I have been implementing in my life that WORK, and one of the things she did was create a blog. Well, I've already done that ... so that step wasn't hard completing ... But the kicker for me was that she maintained it -- she worked with layouts and pictures and she also posted 6 days of the week.

So, point taken. It's actually been weighing on my mind that I haven't been posting regularly, because I feel like such a loser when I don't. Even though I know barely ANYONE reads, it's very relaxing for me.

What have I even been up to that consumes so much time?

To be honest, nothing much. I have been cleaning my Nandy's house a lot, Spanish is consuming my life, and I get a LOT of beauty sleep. But most of the time I am just chillin'. And reading ... it has actually become my solace again! I love curling up with a good book that I want to read, but school drives pleasure reading out of my life.

Pictures would serve my purpose a LOT better to tell a story, so I suppose that will be the remainder of my post ... enjoy -- and beware! Click on pics to make them bigger!

Chicago Trip

I loved Chicago! The city had such a CHARACTER. You could see people jogging all around, and although it wasn't New York City, it had a special charm of it's own. I especially liked the older side of town, where we went to the Comedy Sports workshop, the Blue Man show, and ate pizza. It was SO beautiful, and I don't think I have any pictures that really do it justice. This was just a GREAT trip, with so many great opportunities! I would definitely go back if I ever had the chance.

Trek 2011

I LOVED TREK! I still ache for the super green OK plains and sleeping outside. I even miss the hot and sweaty outfits ... But I especially miss my family, the Trubles. They were so incredible, and I can't believe how much each and every one of them have altered my life. I love the pioneers, and I respect them so much more now that I have done this trek. It was hard! But at the end I still felt really, really, really inadequate. We had porta-johns for goodness sakes! (Actually, I went in the woods too ... not to be too graphic. Just sayin' -- I'm no SISSY. :D) On that lovely note, my testimony of the gospel has grown so very much! Also, I feel like I have so much more gratitude to my pioneer ancestors, modern appliances, and my family. It was just the right kick-off to my kick-butt summer!

This is the Truble Family! Pa, me, Jenica, Ma, Rachel, Jake, Keenan, Ben, and Shauna. Yeah, we were a pretty hot looking family. Missing is Cheyanne and Flour Baby Lucy who died late into the second day.

This photo was taken after a TREMENDOUS rainstorm that almost blew our tents away! It also showed how our darling, angel sister Cheyanne could come back to us and help us along the trail.

Second Morning's breakfast. Pa got us an awesome looking glass thing that I can never remember the name of. Long live undercooked (or RAW) oatmeal!

Taken after a nap under the wagon during one of our various potty breaks. It was surprisingly comfy, which is how you know we were out of our minds by the second day.

Ben was always late during EVERY bathroom break. This picture was an often occurrence.

This picture was taken by Pa Truble (Brother Tripp) while the women had to pull alone. That was SO hard, but we were able to make it through when we all pulled together!

Pioneer children really did sing as they walked ... and walked ... and walked ...

This stance was one that I could be found in quite often. I promise, I pulled half of the way! I definitely gave my muscles some toning.

Thank you for being so patient with my slowness. I make no promises, but there will be more of me in the future. :)

sneak peak!

I know! I HAVE BEEN SO BEHIND ON MY BLOGGING!! I am so sorry. I guess I have been so busy trying to gain experience and having a good time that I haven't been able to get to the computer.

I promise that I have a lot of great stories to tell. There's that one about Jane Eyre, prom, Nauvoo ... Ah, too many to post. I also have been trying to be a bit more creative with the pictures I post, so look for some improvement there!

Only three weeks until the play is over -- let the countdown to peace commence. By the way, the days that we will be showing the play at the high school are ALL over the place, but in case you haven't seen -- April 14, 15, 16th at 7:00.

My thoughts are getting a little overwhelming, so I will spare y'all and stop blubbering. Look for these blog posts in the future!

1. The Great Prom Dilemma
2. Our Trip to Nauvoo
3. Young Women's Broadcast
4. Jane Eyre
5. Sunday's Best: Of Soil and Seeds
6. NHS Induction
7. And Something totally new! Picture of the Week

I have some catching up to do ... Get ready.