puedo hablar español

This is not a grateful post ... actually, kind of ... it is. Anyways, something momentous happened today. Spanish clicked a little bit more in my mind. Up until this moment, I have feet a little bit wary of speaking Spanish. It was difficult for me to go back and forth between Spanish and English translations in my head AND THEN to speak it. At times it is hard for me to even speak in English! Anyways, you get the picture.

I have been going to Spanish tutoring twice a week and then going to the Spanish Speaking Lab once a week for a while. The speaking part has ALWAYS been my struggle! I leave the tutoring center and the Speaking Lab wanting to cry because I am so discouraged about my progress. I really have the desire to be fluent in Spanish. I am absolutely determined, and when I don't measure up, I am really hard on myself.

Today, however, I went into tutoring without any grammar principle to talk about. My amazing, amazing tutor, Jeff, taught me a bit about the principles that we are going to be going over in the next chapter for class and then I practiced speaking for the rest of the time. It took me a while to get my Spanish brain on, but when it was on ... it was on.

Suddenly, I just was able to say what I was thinking. It wasn't embarrassing for me when I didn't know a word. It wasn't even close to being a terrifying and discouraging event. Instead, I could speak. I felt my tongue loosened. Holy cow it was an incredible feeling. I know that I am going to have language issues in Chile and Mexico ... I have already accepted that! I know it is going to be hard. But I have already progressed SOOOO much from where I was at the beginning of the semester when I was afraid to even say, "me llamo ...". Isn't that amazing?? Heavenly Father has been helping me soooo much! I am super grateful for that! Puedo hacer todas cosas!