November 1, 2013

november 1st

I am grateful for JESUS CHRIST.

Yesterday, I was feeling really frustrated. "Why, Heavenly Father? Why have I been sad for the past couple of weeks? Why do I feel so homesick!?" I did not expect this kind of thing to happen to me. When people asked me if I would be homesick out here in Idaho, I would reply, "No way. I know exactly how to avoid that kind of thing." I guess it turns out that I don't have all of the answers. Despite my efforts to stay super involved, I have felt so homesick for the past couple of weeks. Add that to school stress and some drama with the roomies and I have been one hot mess. A quiet hot mess, though. One content with being silent.

So, I was feeling frustrated. I was tired and sad and alone. I found myself in the Taylor Chapel (which is a beautiful, beautiful place). I took a little nap ... because I could. And then I woke up and started to pray. I prayed for courage and strength and comfort. I prayed against the fear that I would never want to come back here again. I prayed for friendship and for my family. I prayed for Heath Tenney and all of my other missionary friends.

This simple prayer helped so much. I know that the Gospel is true with all of my heart. But sometimes, I forget that it works for me just as much as I know that it will work for others. Sometimes I comfort people by saying, "Jesus Christ knows what you're going through. He will ALWAYS be there to help you." I say this to them, yet while in my struggles I sometimes forget.

After I napped and prayed in the Taylor Chapel, I knew something that I had momentarily forgotten. Jesus Christ loves me. He knows what I am going through and wants to help me. I felt waves of comfort wash over me. I began thinking about perspective and was really struck by how fast time has gone by out here at BYUI. I only have six weeks to go until I enter the MTC. I am going back home in 18 days for the Thanksgiving break. I started thinking about the people of Chile. I thought about how I would be there in just a few short months and was comforted.

This too shall pass ...

Please don't think that I am sad or lonely or depressed. I really have wonderful friends out here. I love going to school here. I am just so grateful, now more than ever, for the atonement of Jesus Christ. I am so grateful that when I feel completely isolated, I know that I can always have the spirit with me. Life is so, so good.

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