when everything happens for a reason

I'm in Ether in the Book of Mormon -- specifically the brother of Jared.

For those of you who are familiar with the story, feel free to skip the next paragraph.

For those of you unfamiliar with the story, Jared and his family are about to travel in tiny boats across the Atlantic Ocean to sail to the Promised Land. Unfortunately, they have no source of light (windows would break and a fire would be ridiculously silly). The brother of Jared, searching for a solution, turns to the Lord for help. The Lord responds by asking what the brother of Jared would have him do. The BoJ climbs up a mountain and prepares several little stones and asks the Lord to give them light. After he asks for this to be done, the Lord appears to the Brother of Jared, first with his finger and then as an entire personage. It's pretty awesome.

I've been noticing the little finger of God in my life so often now that I am back in school. When I was home schooled  there were so many BIG, BIG things that were evident to me. Every day seemed like a miracle because I was living a super charmed life and learning incredible spiritual lessons at every page turn. In the real world, however, things have gotten busy. Super busy. Unnecessarily so. I've been struggling to juggle all of the things that I feel like I need to be doing (which I did feel last year) and the things that I want to be doing. Luckily, through the clouds of human interaction and hours and hours of homework, I have been able to see sneak peaks of the hand of the Lord -- time and time again.

Already this year, I have faced challenges that I have never had to deal with in my life previously. Sometimes I am completely ignorant to any solution. Sometimes I know what I need to do, but I lack enough courage to do it. When I have gone to the Lord to solve these problems, usually I get a similar answer as the brother of Jared: "What would you like me to do about it, Laney?" As I have put myself in the BoJ's situation, I can imagine how he must have felt. Finding the answer, whether it is how to handle light sources or insane drama, is not a picnic. It required effort for the BoJ to climb up that mountain, combined with the courage and faith to ask for help, in order to receive sufficient guidance. I've had to dig into the scriptures and humble myself, but suddenly and eventually my eyes are opened to all the things the Lord has done for me.

He has blessed me with so much. Even though things are a little rocky with people at school, I have an incredible, kind, forgiving family who is willing to support me. I have so many great friends. My teachers care about how I am doing and are anxious to see me succeed. Heath called me today to tell me he got his mission call (Buenos Aires North) and is leaving soon. I could sit and list my blessings for hours, but I won't put you through that. Just know, at the top of the struggling, at the top of the mountain, the view is incredible.