April 10, 2012

what now?

My mom has been asking me to blog quite frequently the past couple of weeks. I don't know why, but I have really been out of the blogging mood recently. Ah, well. This one's for you, Mom.

Today I took my last final for school this year. I can't believe it. I think back to who I was a year ago, maybe even six months ago, and I feel like I was such a baby. Such a youngster. This year of school has given me such a perspective on life. It's pushed me from anxious student to (mostly) relaxed and well-rounded young adult. I really don't feel old yet. I recognize that I am not ready to leave the house and be totally independent, but I feel significantly more developed than I think I have ever felt in my life.

It's kind of a scary feeling.

My dad and I went to Utah during General Conference weekend to visit some friends and to see General Conference (go figure). While we were there, I suggested that we double purpose our trip. I have been wanting to go up to Rexburg for a couple of years now to look at BYU-I. I really have felt like this school would be THE ONE. But when I got to Rexburg, there was no trumpeting of angelic messengers, nor was there a burst of lightning. I realized that I haven't really been open to any other college but BYU-I (even though it's a great school and I think we could go together like PB&J).

That was a scary realization as well. My future is open. I might not even know my future husband right now. I might not know where I'm going to school. I certainly have no idea what I am going to major in. I feel like the blissful shades of youth are slowly melting off my face. I have no clue what is going to happen in my life.

So, what do I do now?

School is out and that makes me a little anxious. Slowly, I have been liberating my days from obligations. I am trying to fill my days with reading and sunshine and jogging. But I guess now my big trial is to learn how to be content. That, I think, is going to be the big cherry on top of the lovely piece of pie that has been my homeschooling journey.

Come what may and love it!


  1. Awww! Thanks Laney! I was suffering from Laney blog withdrawal, and that isn't a pretty sight. And since it is obvious that the very best place to offer parental advice is through a blog rather than face to face, I think I'll take this opportunity to say this: I think that it is very important to learn how to listen to the prompting of the Spirit (which I think you have proven very good at doing -- especially during the past year) and then let the Spirit guide you where you need to be. Don't spend so much time stressing over having your life planned out perfectly. Just focus on being the best person you can be and taking every moment to ENJOY the moment you are in. Sometimes we take so much time planning for the future that we miss out on the wonderful PRESENT that we are living. When you do this you will find that you are in the right place at the right time for the best things to happen in your life. It is while you are living your best each day that you discover where you need to be in the future. You know that my life plan I had written for myself at 17 did not come true. Thank goodness for that, or I would be riding my bike across Europe fighting political oppression as we speak (or more likely rotting away in some gulag somewhere). Thankfully, Heavenly Father had a plan for me, and I was living the way I needed to be when He was ready to show it to me. That has made all the difference. You don't know where you are going to school, what you will major in, who you will marry, or anything like that, but that is the fun of all of it. Your future is wide open, and it can be anything. Scary? A bit maybe. But way exciting! Embrace the adventure! You have all the tools you need to be extremely successful in whatever you do. Trust that, and go out there and have a blast. You deserve it!

  2. You have a wise mother! Rest assured that very few of us have ever lived out what we had planned on when were in highschool. Enjoy your last year at home with you family -- in my opinion life hits fast forward once you get to college! Glad you're back to blogging you were missed!

  3. I couldn't agree more with your mom! I once had someone tell me that I would never be happy with my life if I wasn't happy with my life right now. For example...marriage wasn't going to make me happy if I wasn't happy with life before I got married. It really is about enjoying the time you are in. I loved my single years, and look back on them very fondly. I traveled, learned a lot about myself and really built a relationship with the Lord. When Andy came along (I was 25 at the time) it's because I was ready for that phase in my life. Just like your mom said, Heavenly Father had (and has) a plan for me and I just needed to be at that place for me to see it. You are doing (and will continue to) wonderful things with your life! Enjoy the time you have to go jogging and to read! I wish I had more time for both of those things! That way when you figure out where you are going to school or what you want to major in you won't look back and say, gosh...I wish I wouldn't have worried so much and would have just gone jogging more! :) When you live the gospel, life seems to work itself out. That is one of the greatest blessings I've seen in my life. It always works out, one way or another!

    You are awesome. Don't forget it!



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