If you haven't noticed, I've been a little more weepy and woe-is-me than I usually am. Usually, I am NEVER this way -- I mean, I try to always look on the bright side and see the glass half full. So, while I have been struggling with my funky attitude, I realized that I needed to start praying and searching to find out what I was doing wrong in my life to make me feel that way. So I started going down the list ...
Am I in love with anyone? (Usually that's the first sign of distention for me, but in this case it is a NO.)
Am I reading the scriptures and praying daily? (Yeah, which is why I was kinda worried that I wasn't happy.)
Do I feel good about myself? Do I realize what I have? BIIIIIIIIINGO!
I have been so greedy recently. I scarcely ever realize how much I have -- how much I have been blessed with. And because of that small detail, I have been pretty blinded by what others have and how much I want to emulate them.
Which brings us to today's lesson --
HONESTY - Cue dramatic music -
Really, this lesson wasn't anything new. You don't tell lies ... You are a woman of integrity. I've heard that before and I try to do the best I can at that. But then Sister N started talking about how you can lie by coveting. Oh my! It really made me think!! Am I putting to much emphasis on what I like in others rather than what I like in myself? The answer is obviously a big fat YES! Do I often want talents, but I don't take the time to develop them? Also a YES. I think I have started to realize this pattern that I get myself into, similar to the pride cycle, but it's more like the COVET CYCLE. It goes a little like this
1.) Confidence
2.) Doubt
3.) Covet
4.) Sorrow
5.) Realization
6.) Confidence
And so on ... Maybe because of this lesson, I am one step away from gaining that confidence back, and then shaking the cycle through intense emotional rehab. I hope I can learn this lesson soon and get it over with. I'm ready to be a blossoming flower again.
And so on ... Maybe because of this lesson, I am one step away from gaining that confidence back, and then shaking the cycle through intense emotional rehab. I hope I can learn this lesson soon and get it over with. I'm ready to be a blossoming flower again.
I, like you, LOVED today's lesson. I think you make a great point AND I think this cycle is something we all deal with. Sometimes it feels like a constant struggle, and I wish it disappeared as we got older, but unfortunately it doesn't. You are right though...if only you could see yourself the way OTHERS see you, then maybe you could truly see all of your WONDERFUL qualities. I guess that's part of the process though, right? ....but if you ever need some reinforcement I know many people (including myself) who could list your wonderful qualities for you!
ReplyDeletePS. I totally commented on your sledding pictures the other day but obviously it never went through, I love them though and I LOVE the new blog look. SO CUTE!
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