life recently, ft. Ryan

Blogging is so interesting ... because I don't write when I feel like I have nothing to write because life is dull and I don't write when I feel like I have too much to write because life is so exciting. Recently, I haven't been blogging for the latter. In fact, I don't think I've had a period of time that was this exciting for a long time. This can be attributed to a new character in the Molly Mormon Saga: Ryan.

World, meet Ryan.

As you can tell from the picture, he's handsome. What you might not be able to discern from this picture is the vibrancy and color that he manages to weave into my life every. single. day. I am overwhelmed by the blessing that he is in my life. I want to give the world a small taste of how wonderful this man is, but I'm struggling to find the words. Because a descriptive list of his positive attributes would probably stretch longer than the Wall of China ... and because he's going to be featured in many blog posts to come ... maybe I'll just share a couple of stories to fill you in on the strokes of luck that led to the happiness that is life recently (ft. Ryan).

JUNE 2016

Twenty-four sweaty and enthusiastic teenagers are playing one of the many games found in the EFY handbook. They don't understand the relevance of being captained through a "mine-field" of their peers, but they are thoroughly enjoying it. I look over at my co-counselor and motion that we should wrap up the game. He calls everyone to attention with a whistle and the participants gather without missing a beat. They respect him and they listen to his explanation of the game with rapt attention.

Even though I didn't know it then, I think I fell a little bit in love with Ryan that day. I didn't know that he had a girlfriend at the time. To be honest, I didn't project any kind of future with him because I was going back up to BYU-Idaho after finishing EFY. But I saw the respect of the teenagers and thought ... man, I hope I can end up with someone like this someday.

NOVEMBER 2016

I dial the number of my friend in Provo. I call with a couple of intentions ... partly to catch up, but mostly to find out what kind of housing is available in Provo for the winter semester. After EFY, I have been the worst at keeping in touch with the friends I made over the summer. I assume that it's just a normal characteristic of the summer camp experience. This friend, however, keeps popping up, especially because we have mutual friends that attend BYU-Idaho. After some chit-chat about the weather and classes and life, I ask if he would be able to scout out some housing. He contacts me shortly after with a couple of vacancies in his ward. The conversation is brief but pleasant.

Even though I didn't know it then, I think I feel a little bit in love with Ryan that day. I wasn't sure what my future was going to look like. I had accepted my admission to BYU and was planning to transfer in the winter, but there were so many unknown variables. I didn't know where I was going to live, what I was going to study, or how life was going to look as soon as I left the security of Rexburg, Idaho. I was dating a great guy, but I was unsure of how that relationship would pan out with an impending period of long distance looming on the horizon. But I knew that I would have at least one friend in Provo, so I felt a little less apprehensive about the change.

JANUARY 2017

I trudge through the snow to my Portuguese class, trying desperately to avoid the embarrassment that comes from slipping on campus. I can feel the excitement of being in a new place with new opportunities being replaced by feelings of loneliness and feelings of inadequacy. As I climb the stairs, I see a familiar figure. We're both late to our 8 o'clock class, but he makes time to talk to me for a little bit longer than a "Hey, how are you?" and I make time to talk for a little bit longer than, "So, where are you headed?" We part ways.

This experience happened a couple of times my first semester at BYU. Even though I didn't know it then, I think I fell a little bit in love with Ryan those days. No matter the time of day, Ryan had an energy that was contagious. I didn't expect to run into him on the way to class, but when I did, I was always pleasantly surprised by his good humor and his genuine interest.

JUNE 2017-OCTOBER 2017

Random encounters. I see him at the MTC. I see him walking to the library on campus.

Even though I didn't know it then, I think I fell a little bit in love with Ryan those days. Looking back, I feel like those little encounters were just enough to maintain our friendship. Despite the fact that we only had general, "How are you?" conversations once every couple of months, I continued to be impressed with Ryan.

My summer was fraught with relationship drama, and I went into the semester with a jaded outlook on the Provo dating culture. I felt helpless when it came to my love life and began focusing my energy to building a career, a path that was a little less ambiguous and that I felt I had control over. I started planning to go to China for the first half of 2018. I began making plans to graduate ASAP and then begin a Master's degree.

One day, I was praying to know what I should do with my life and I found myself saying, "Heavenly Father ... I just want to find a good boy. Please help me to find a good boy." My prayer surprised me, especially considering the fact that I was trying to figure out if I should pay the deposit to go to China or not. What was even more surprising was that Ryan texted me the next day with an invitation to go to a concert. I wanted to go ... but I couldn't. So we set up a date to a hockey game later that week ... and I fell, more than a little bit, in love with Ryan.

And so began the happiest period of my life that continues to this day.

Ryan and I have had all kinds of adventures the past couple of months. We've gone hiking. We've sung karaoke. We've run miles and miles and miles together. We've read books and hammocked (sometimes at the same time). We've road tripped to Washington. We've gone to concerts and plays. We've attended hockey games and have played broom hockey. He's taught me to rock climb and to appreciate soccer and to enjoy life to the fullest. We've watched all kinds of movies. We've eaten so many creative, college-budget friendly meals together. We've seen the Christmas lights on Temple Square. We've laughed and laughed and laughed.

Though we've had so many random experiences the past year and a half, I can't point to any one point of our friendship/relationship and say, "That was the moment it happened. That was when I fell in love." But I think that's the most adventurous part of dating Ryan. No matter what we do, I've come to realize that I fall a little bit more in love with him every day. I'll be the first to admit that this is beyond cheesy. It's beyond cliche. Words cannot describe what it's like to experience so much of life with a single person.

Get ready for it, world. Blog posts of incoherent bliss are surely ahead of us, but I hope that life recently (ft. Ryan) is here to stay. :)