That was not what I wanted to hear when I asked my dad to give me a blessing before my EFY interview. I wanted to hear that I would be blessed with talent beyond my own ... The ability to be witty in the face of anxiety. Instead, I heard a lot about Heavenly Father's will ... which was fine and dandy, but it didn't give me a lot of security that my teenage dream of becoming an EFY counselor would come true.
Why? Well, due to past experience, I have learned that my will is soooo finite when compared to what Heavenly Father has planned for me. It has been a pretty common occurrence that I have been on one life path, walking towards what I deem to be a worthy goal, and Heavenly Father reveals to me a path that is completely different than what I expected (like, the time when I was homeschooled ... or when I went on a mission ... or when I came to BYUI ... or ... well, I think you get the point). It never has been a negative occurrence ... the consequences ALWAYS make my happier than I could have dreamed on my own. But still, I have a long way to go before MY WILL is the exact same as Heavenly Father's will.
When I heard my dad say, "the will of Heavenly Father will be done ..." I tried to imagine what His will would be. I have been dreaming and living for this job for so long that I didn't even stop to think that His will would be different. What else would I possibly do? Would I need to find an internship? Would I need to be at home with my family? I realized that asking me to not be an EFY counselor would be the biggest trial of my faith I have had. I prayed and prayed that Heavenly Father would let me have the opportunity. If only given the opportunity, I knew that I could be a good EFY counselor. I knew that I could help kids to have a life changing experience.
So, I went to my interview. I did the best I could and felt really good about it. I waited a couple of weeks ...
and this week I got the email that told me I had contracts available to sign.
Heavenly Father wants me to be an EFY counselor. I got the job!!
I am so grateful! I started crying when I received the email, because it isn't every day that your dreams come true. I immediately began to think of every EFY counselor that I have had and I realized how much work I still have to do. These people have been super role models in my life -- I have molded myself for years to become like them because I admire them so much. And now I am going to be a counselor. I am humbled beyond belief.
Once again, I am SO EXCITED FOR EFY!!!!! It's good to have that to look forward to again. :)
As I was pondering this TREMENDOUS blessing in my life the night I got the email, I learned a valuable lesson. Heavenly Father's ways are higher than my ways and his thoughts are higher than my thoughts. Sometimes, in a graceful, tender moment, His will briefly aligns with mine. Sometimes, Heavenly Father's will is also my will. He knows my deepest desires and He is willing to give me all of my righteous desires. He guides my decisions in such an individual way, helping me to realize when I am walking down a path that will not bring me maximum happiness ... he guides me back to where I need to be. And when I am on the right path, He opens my eyes to see how merciful and wonderful his blessings are.