March 10, 2014

Week Twelve: Catching the Stride


Area: Chillán
Companion: Hermana Hillary Harris AND Hermana Canchan
Companion's Blog: http://hjhmissionabroad.blogspot.com/2014/04/march-10-2014-hola-mi-familia-les-amo.html

Querida familia! :)

If last week was random ... this week was even more so. I apologize in advance. The first three weeks or so of working were long for me. I always had my watch on and would check the time ALWAYS. The time just moved sooooo slowly. Now, there is hardly enough time in the day. We are working like crazy and I am motivated by some drive that I have never felt before. There is not enough time in every day to do all of the things that I would love to do. There is not enough time in the week ... nor in the mission. Right now, we are with a sister that just "killed" or sent home her companion. When we picked her up from the bus station, I thought a lot about how scary it is that time moves so quickly. AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH. I don't want my mission to end ever! I am already done with 2 cambios! I only have 10 more of these to go!!
Hermana Harris, Hermana Canchan (the Hermana that killed her companion), and I. I love Hermana Canchan. She is from Guatamala and has such a wonderful personality!! :) Her testimony helps us so much during our lessons!!
Hey, speaking of! There were cambios today! I wasn't really anxious about what would happen, but I worried that we wouldn't be able to say goodbye to all of the amazing people that I love so much. We went to our mission leader's house yesterday and his mom was so sweet. We couldn't stay at their house for very long because we had to run to a cita, but as we were heading out the door, she gave me the biggest hug in the world and said, "No vaya! No vaya!" And I really, really, really didn't want to leave. I LOVE this little place I am in. I LOVE the people I am working with. I know that Heavenly Father expects us to grow and gives us changes when we need them, but I really hoped that I would have some other lesson that I needed from this Coyquen ward. I kept waking up during the night because I was super anxious about the cambio. We got the call and ...

I AM STAYING. I AM STAYING WITH HERMANA HARRIS! YAY! I am super stoked for this! This area is just on the cusp of explosion. We are going to start working on using our time with more wisdom. I know that when we do this, we are going to work with efficiency and will have success in bringing these people to the Savior.

When I think about where I was at the beginning of this cambio to where I am now ... holy guacamole. What a change! The first Sunday that we were here, I had to get up and introduce myself in front of the ward. I don't remember what I said, but I think that it was terribly awkward and in TERRIBLE Spanish. I went from that to giving a fifteen-minute talk without notes yesterday. People are starting to listen to me! They are starting to think that Hermana Harris and I have almost the same time in Chile. Baaaaaaaaah, Heavenly Father is blessing me so much!!

[We had a few minutes to email back and forth this afternoon with Laney. We told her that her sweet bishop in Chile had emailed us to tell us that Laney had given a super great talk on Sunday. He thanked us for raising such a sweet girl. Needless to say, we were super touched by this email. Here is Laney's quick response to that:]

Bah, OBISPO. He is moving to Tomé soon. :( This is super, super sad. I hope I get transferred to his ward when I am there because he is pretty much the most amazing man in the world. My talk was super helped by the spirit. Every single person in the ward came up to me afterward and said, "Que precioso su discurso! Entendí todo!!" Haha, it was so funny!! It's weird, because I think that at times, people understand my Spanish more clearly than Hermana Harris's. I don't know why, but I just credit it all to the spirit. :) 

My zone. I love these kids!!!
We had a Special Conference this week with Elder Zabollos (of the Seventy). It was super uplifting!! Here is a picture of the missionaries from all of the areas outside of Concepción.
I remember the struggles that I faced in the CCM and I kind of giggle. They are so much different out here in the field. Before, I was really concerned about being obedient and making sure that everyone else was being obedient too. I am still super focused on being obedient every day! But now I have three thousand other things to work on as well. I am learning to be EXACTLY OBEDIENT while shuffling LESSONS and RESPONSIBILITIES and GOALS. It is so crazy how my capacity to take these things and juggle them in a decent manner have increased. As I have worked on improving this aspect of myself, I have found that my ability to have inner peace has also increased. I do not feel much anxiety about silly things. I am happy and content much of the time. It is amazing, this losing yourself thing. The more and more I focus on being a missionary, the more and more happy I feel.

My ability to love people has also increased TEN FOLD. I just LOVE these people more than anything in the world. Even the creepy old men. I love them, too. I love them because I am just starting to see their potential! I am starting to understand the love that Heavenly Father has for them! I love the investigators that we have. They are incredible!! Cesar and Carolina are SEGURO! They are going to be baptized on the 29th! We started to teach their daughter this week, and they are hoping that she will accept baptism so that they can be baptized together. YAY! Also, JAIME CAME TO CHURCH! This is huge!! I was sure that his parents would stop him from coming, but I think that they drove him to the building so that he would arrive in time. Bahhh, I was so happy. We are just starting to find all of these people that are super prepared. I know that Heavenly Father is blessing us for our diligence! We are going to try to up the notch for this cambio and work our little hearts out to be more and more successful.

I feel like I am starting to catch some sort of stride here. I don't think that it is in perfect form -- it might be more accurate to say that I am starting to pick myself off of the ground and limp around with a cane -- but I am starting to feel at least a little bit more comfortable with this whole missionary thing. I still have a hard time talking on the phone. I still have a hard time focusing completely on the work. I still have a hard time with the complete consecration of my life. I am starting to feel like I have the resources that I need to succeed now. Before, I think I felt a little stressed out because I didn't feel like I would ever get to a point where I could add anything to this work. I felt like a lump of dough with no potential to rise. Now, I am starting to see the peak of this first mountain. I am POSITIVE there are a ton more mountains for me to climb, but I feel like I am improving and changing through the constant refining power of the Atonement. 

This letter is a little lame. I just don't know how to sum up how I am changing every day in an eloquent manner. Every day, in every way, I am getting better and better ... stronger and stronger. I am contributing more and more and talking a lot. I smile more and more and and more and more grateful for this opportunity I have EVERY DAY to share the gospel. It's only been 6 measly weeks that I have been here in Chile ... but I can't imagine what life was like before I was here. I can't wait to find out what great things Heavenly Father has in store for me!!

Love you lots, lots, lots!

Hermana Blau

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